There is a quality we don’t hear much about but which is perhaps the most worthy one to aspire to: firmness. It’s what remains when we have no more territory to defend. When our hearts are open, our feet are planted and our intuition is flowing, we are firm. In this space, we don’t need anyone’s permission or validation. We know, and that’s enough. We’re enough.
When we’re firm, we’ve stuck the landing on nesting receptivity right into the center of the action. Our effort becomes effortless and the energy we need to accomplish our goal is ever-replenished. We’re in the sweet spot of life, and ain’t that yummy.
We tend to weave from one alternative to the next, hugging the ditches instead of straddling the centerline.
Getting here, on the other hand, can be a real bear. We tend to weave from one alternative to the next, hugging the ditches instead of straddling the centerline.
On one pole is the pull into rigidity. Everything then takes such enormous exertion, including our perceived need to defend our rightness. We will cling to our opinions—often borrowed from someone else or the ethers at large—as though they give us gravitas. We have decided and therefore it must be so! Such a position is totally unbending and yields so little.
In fact, the Guide teaches that if our opinions aren’t homegrown, they weigh more than they are worth. So if we’re swallowing what we’re being spoon-fed hoping to use it to flex our might, we’ll be forever running from pillar to post to shore up our leaky positions. But once we find the truth within us—even if what we find is the exact same thing—we’ll now be resolute. Firmness will then replace our flimsy cardboard constructions.
The other way we too often lean is in the wishy-washy direction of compliance. We go along and let the wind take us to whatever corner appears to offer the most sure-fire way to win. For that’s what this is all about: winning at life. What we don’t see is that in playing life like it’s a win-or-lose game, we’ve already lost.
So when we’re waffling through life with the loosey-goosey aim of ‘just going along,’ we’re pretending to be in the flow. But we have no idea of what’s really flowing inside us. We’re once again borrowing other’s ideas and acting as if those are our own. We’re in the same boat as when we were rigidly clinging, and we’re still sailing without a rudder.
When we find it, we’ll know it by the unlikely combination we’ll feel of excitement and peace.
The way out is by going in and finding out what’s real and true for us. When we find it, we’ll know it by the unlikely combination we’ll feel of excitement and peace. Our passion will be ignited and our soul will feel settled down. The thing is, this is not something the ego is capable of experiencing.
This means the ego is going to have to let go so that the larger, wiser, more reliable aspects of our being can take root. For to the ego, holding opposites is impossible. Excitement then will amp up into anxiety, and peace will descend into boredom. This can be our litmus test for knowing where we stand.
Firmness is a feeling of the true self, and it’s impossible to fake. But once we discover it, we’ll know we’ve found the real thing. And with this as our footing, we can build a life that’s solid.
Watch video on the Ego: