P1 At the beginning of one’s path, one is aware only of what one consciously desires, wishes, wants, wills, intends, and longs for. The person is convinced that their lack of fulfillment is a result of ill luck, or is someone else’s fault. Even when this hidden agenda is glimpsed and conceptual acceptance develops, it still seems impossible to accept that an actual inner No exists which contradicts one’s conscious desires.
Part of the resistance is based on wanting to deny the split, which is the inner negation of the outer affirmation. In other words the average human being’s predicament is that he or she consciously wants one thing, unconsciously wants the opposite, and then fights to repress awareness of this dividedness.
P2 Contrary to what you may believe awareness of a totally irrational, self-destructive will to negate what is desirable does not automatically eliminate it. Even when you unearth mistaken conclusions, false and unjustified fears which determine the negation, even then it is often impossible to give it up. This is where many of you are.
At this point I have a gift to bring. Yet the gift is not something you can passively receive; it does not come to you without your participation. The gift is a living powerful force of healing that can flow through the instrument through which I manifest. To be precise, the healing force can now flow through the hands of this person. This is not a healing power on the physical level. Nor does it allow you merely to be passively receptive. This venture must truly become mutual. It can work only as a mutuality.
P3 Healers who dispense physical healing power tap a powerful universal energy, but it may not necessarily effect spiritual healing in the true sense of the word. Your part of the mutuality consists in acknowledging as exactly as you can what you consciously wish and what you—no longer unconsciously—strangely and irrationally deny; Then state further, very exactly, that you are unable to make the inner will budge, even though your outer being would like to release the locked force in you, would like to obtain from your spiritual self the necessary inspiration for whatever awareness may still be missing, and that you wish to make fluid what is now fixed.
You may then uncover that non-fulfillment, with all its suffering, appears preferable to the dangers imagined to be lurking in an open, flowing attitude, so that negation and negativity, evil and destructiveness, seem protective devices. When you make these clear-cut statements, when your inability to move the inner will is expressed, as your ego-personality commits to wanting help, you will become calm, open and receptive. With this you have fulfilled your half of the mutual venture.
Then, through the instrument’s hands, a very strong, living power and force will penetrate you. It will not directly affect your bodily ailments. Something more fundamental will take place, which can, if you wish, also affect your bodily symptoms. But this will happen from within yourself as a secondary result of the power given you. The power given to you will influence stagnant soul substance and can go to work within you. This is the gift that all of you who work on this path have made possible, that you have built yourselves, as it were.
By fulfilling your part of the mutuality, you commit yourself, you open something in you, you go “on the record.” First lift out of the vagueness what you long for, what is unfulfilled in your life. Most people do not state this clearly to themselves. They deplore a certain situation or problem but fail to state clearly that they wish to resolve it. The greater the problem, the less clear is the awareness that there is a problem.
I suggest that you ask yourself, preferably on paper, so that it cannot elude you: “What do I long for? What do I wish to be different in my life? What would I want different in myself, in my personality? How would I like it to be different?” Answer these questions very clearly to yourself. Then a second series of questions must be raised and answered in writing. “What do I believe contributes to the absence of the fulfillment? Do I believe that it is an outside factor or that it is in me?”
P4 The third series of questions will be the following: “Am I at all aware, at this point, that there is a specific fulfillment I miss, and say No to? Am I aware of it, and if so, why, how? How does it express in my inner being? How does this inner expression make me behave in such a way that I make it impossible for the conscious wish to fulfill itself? On what beliefs, assumptions and ideas do I base the negation in contrast to the conscious striving?”
The final question is: “To what degree am I willing to cooperate in this mutual venture, to receive the healing power, take it into me and let it work in me until, finally, I release these same healing, living forces from within my own being?” Do not feel ashamed of saying, “No, I am not ready. I do not want what I want.” But do explore the reasons why. At least then you are no longer in the predicament of putting useless pressure on yourself that short-circuits your energies and also creates the emotional hazard of projecting onto the outside world the non-fulfillment you impose upon yourself. Another aspect of the problem is unawareness of your actual state that your whole inner being longs for something desperately.
Therefore a third layer has to be examined. The top layer of consciousness is hazily unconcerned, unaware of a great need, perhaps of a legitimate human fulfillment, that creates on a less conscious level an urgency which, in turn, manifests only indirectly. Tension, anxiety, inability to concentrate, absent-mindedness, a sense of futility about one’s life, depression, lack of energy, and often physical difficulties characterize this state. These manifestations are the consequences of being unaware of a deep longing or need.
At times, a legitimate human need may be distorted by a so-called neurotic need, but the deviation is seldom a total illusion. Such need always harbors the germ of a real, legitimate need. Therefore it must not be totally thrown out, even if it is childish, destructive, and unrealistic in its present manifestation. Additional layers of vagueness, lack of awareness, must also be taken into consideration.
P5 Your lack of clear awareness of your saying No also blocks you from meditation in such areas. This obstruction, when you confront it is an invaluable indicator of your dividedness and should be heeded. The power (of the gift) can release your own power to be inspired and energized by yourself.
This is the gift of a new mutuality that can take place and that can be built later into further and further extensions of this spiritual force. Q&A Outer action or change is meaningless unless it arises out of a harmonious desire. Then obstacles will fall by the wayside. First consciousness, feeling and awareness must be cultivated. Then everything else follows naturally and organically.
P6 The commitment to the divine power is not a passive manifestation. It too, implies activity. On the other hand, if a person waits to bring about outer change until he or she is free from fear and resistance, expansion may never be possible. Often the person must go through these feelings, regardless of the unpleasantness, to fully realize the truth of his or her situation. Self-surrender is never an indication of passivity. It is one of the most active commitments a person can undertake.
There is no particle or atom of energy or substance that does not contain consciousness. The universe is permeated with energy/consciousness, but not as separate entities existing side by side. Energy is consciousness and consciousness is energy. Consciousness that solidifies into fixed substance must be made fluid again, must wake up out of its own stagnation. Stagnant, fixed energy/consciousness needs its own loosening up.
Fluid consciousness and energy can affect the stagnant, fixed parts only with the greatest difficulty, because true awakening must happen within the dormant part. Free-flowing energy/consciousness is therefore always repulsed by the fixed state. Stagnant consciousness must somehow find the way to let go of itself. The task of the fluid, enlightened consciousness can be accomplished only little by little, influencing and affecting the stagnant, entrapped energy/consciousness/substance, which is what is called “neurosis.” The free-flowing consciousness/energy eventually prevails.
—The Pathwork® Guide