P1 The sexual force is an expression of consciousness reaching for fusion. Then in that blissful experience of total union (when it is an expression of the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual levels all integrated) the fulfillment transcends personal satisfaction and enrichment.
P2 The more complete the joy, pleasure, bliss, and ecstasy, the more creative power is added to the universal reservoir. By revealing yourself to another being, your own true being can enter the full dimension of that other person’s self who is also seeking to know you. Very often your attraction to another person is not directed to the actual person, but rather to an image fabricated in your mind of what the other person should be in order to fulfill your real or imagined needs.
The desiring person insists on his or her illusion and is angry when the illusion cannot be made to come true. Usually this is mutual. For an infant, closeness is an entirely passive experience: the child takes in, receives, soaks up nourishment and affection as a merely receptive organism, thus illustrating the universal feminine principle. The mother in this case is the giver, and in that capacity the truly feminine woman expresses her masculine principle. For the adult, closeness can be successfully consummated only when the experience is mutual—when both participants actively reach out, give, sustain, nurture, receive, and take in.
This organic self-regulating, spontaneous rhythm cannot be determined by the mind. It is the involuntary expression of a lawful process, so exacting, intricate, and meaningful that to convey it to your human scope of understanding is impossible. The infant within the adult personality still seeks its own mode of fulfillment. It seeks a nurturing parent rather than the specific other person, and it seeks the merely receptive, in-taking kind of closeness.
P3 On the emotional level, the movement toward fusion must be expressed in a feeling-exchange. The experience of love is primarily the attempt to perceive the multiple reality of the other person. When you have no stake in maintaining an illusory image of who the other person ought to be, and then resenting it when he or she is not that, you will be open and sufficiently empty to let in what is. This is one way of expressing love. The ability to take frustration and pain are essential to giving and receiving and experiencing bliss.
On the other hand, if you are very threatened by and defended against pain—the pain of not having your way, the pain of being hurt a little, the pain of having to give up an imaginary or even a real advantage—you will create a hard wall out of your flowing energy stream. Nothing can come into you through this wall, nor can anything flow out from you toward others.
You are isolated in the self-created prison of your defense against pain and unpleasantness. You become numb and cannot live fully. Loving depends on one’s ability to perceive reality with uncluttered vision. This ability, in turn, depends on how well you can suffer pain in an undefended way that is free from manipulative interpretations of the pain.
P4 The fusion you long for can only come about if every feeling you long to receive, every single aspect of loving, is richly flowing out of you. These aspects of love include tenderness, warmth, respect, and also the recognition of the essence of the other with his or her capacity for growth, change, and goodness.
Add to these patience, and giving the other the benefit of the doubt. It depends on your ability to risk, to confront, to admit your most guarded secret, and as a result to speak up when the other person puts obstructions in the way. The kind of assertion I refer to here does not blame the other, and yet it also recognizes what the other is doing. When you no longer have a stake in blaming, you can truly speak up.
P5 Mental fusion exists on the level of the thinking mind. The ability to exchange the deepest ideas and thoughts and to risk disagreement and disapproval are basic. Mental fusion can only exist when there is a certain blend of compatibility. They must also be spiritually more or less on the same plane of development. Several qualities are required for reaching mental fusion. One is the need to grow toward truthful understanding of each other, another is the humility to search for, and discard if necessary, the ideas and opinions you both may hold.
The attitudes you bring to bear on the points of difference and the ways you approach them are important. Do you avoid any confrontation of ideas because it is simply too uncomfortable to make waves? Do you agree superficially so as to have peace because the issue is “unimportant” anyway? Can you perhaps not be bothered to even deeply think about things that do not directly concern you?
Or do you insist on being “right” merely for its own sake? Is disagreement a way to find an outlet for the negative feelings and thoughts stored up in you which you do not choose to deal with constructively? With spiritual truth as the ultimate goal, you will sit lightly in the saddle of opinions, ideas, and thoughts.
P6 Spiritual fusion is always a natural result of fusion on the physical, emotional, and mental levels. Hidden facets become magnetized and energized by the sexual current, thereby determining its direction. When this direction is negative and therefore shamefully denied, both the person’s development and the vitality of the life force are hindered. How sexuality manifests—not necessarily in action, but in inclination—reveals one’s whole character with all one’s attitudes, personality and ego trends, problems and impurities, as well as one’s already purified beauty.
P7 If character defects deform one’s sexual drive into cruel, destructive fantasies, to act them out is just as unnecessary as to act out other destructive feelings. If the negativities of the psychic system are denied consciousness, the sexual experience must be blocked, flat, unsatisfactory, mechanical or even totally paralyzed. If this denial is removed, the sexual inclination may show up character tendencies such as finding pleasure in being cruel.
If both the guilt and the ensuing self-punishment are denied and repressed, they may show up in a sexual inclination to be hurt, humiliated, or rejected. In order to change, one first allows oneself to make the connections between the recognized negative trait, and the non-sexual aspects of one’s being. From there, a natural transformation in the direction of the sexual current will organically take place.
P8 For most human beings it is still inconceivable to combine sexuality with spirituality. It was not known that total integration and oneness must bring sexuality into alignment with spirituality. If you cannot find union with others, you are in disunity within yourself. In such a world the powerful drives had to be restrained in order to make any influx of the spirit possible.
P9 If the energy of the life force is concentrated in unrecognized and unfaced evil, then the energy itself is feared and a state of stagnation becomes preferred as the lesser evil. This numbness may be regretted and the yearning therefore may become unbearable, but the inner person is still too puzzled and fearful to do otherwise. If one’s desires to put down others, to be self-serving, or to be exploitative and unmindful of others are not dealt with directly, they pollute holy sexuality. Today there is a conscience in people that makes them quite aware when they are vicious.
P10 The masculine principle expresses the outgoing movement of reaching, giving, acting, initiating, asserting. The feminine principle expresses the receptive movement of taking in and nurturing. In distortion and negativity the masculine principle manifests as hostile aggressions, hitting rather than giving and reaching.
The feminine principle in distortion turns from loving receptivity and nurturing to grasping, grabbing, stealing, holding tight, catching, and taking without letting go. These movements exist in absolutely everything that could ever be created or could ever be.
—The Pathwork® Guide