P2 The right kind of self-respect and self-love can only come forth if you pursue and accomplish the spiritual development you have planned in spirit for this earth. If this is neglected, no matter how much you cover it with subterfuges and self-delusions, deep in your unconscious the fact remains that you are not developing as you should; that you are breaking a number of spiritual laws in your emotions, if not in your thoughts and actions; that you are escaping yourself in some way.
All this leads to self-disposal which is the true cause of inferiority complexes, no matter how well they may be rationalized. My friends, learn to accept other people’s shortcomings, as you must learn to accept your own. Therefore, perhaps you will come to a better understanding that nothing in itself is ever good or bad, right or wrong. How it is done, whether the middle path between the two wrong extremes is found determines whether you are on the right track or not.
P3 You can never change another; therefore, your efforts are lost in this direction. You can, however, help to influence another person by your change; he or she may then decide to change too. When other people’s faults bring you disharmony of any sort, it indicates that deep down you resent even more the fact that you cannot change them. Your resentment means that you are breaking a spiritual law. The more serene you remain in the face of other people’s faults, the more you have accepted yourself as you are.
However, the more you fight inwardly against other people as they are right now, the more you refuse to accept yourself. So learn to accept people as they are and become tolerant of faults you yourself may not have. You especially condemn in another person the very faults you yourself possess. A basically intolerant person often does not want to see another person’s faults when there is strong love or sympathy present. Not wanting to see the faults in this case indicates the deep fear that noticing the faults would mean to stop loving the other. This, of course, is nothing less than intolerance.
In addition to this wrong reaction, such a person will also be convinced that he is extremely tolerant because he never sees the faults in those he loves. This is another of the masks people so often put on. Real tolerance and real acceptance means to clearly see another’s faults and not be afraid to love and respect that person any less because of them. For what robs you of your peace and inner harmony is never what others do, but always and solely your own wrong attitudes and inner fights against conditions you cannot change, and what is more, you are not supposed to change. You are supposed to change yourself. Once you have done that you will be free and will feel a new independence from other people’s behavior or reactions and know that in the last analysis they can never bring you any harm.
P4 Develop your own humility about your lack of complete faith. Say to yourself: “I have not yet deserved this grace. I am not the judge of what I deserve or not. I have to fight my way through with my half-faith; the willing part in my being wants to develop and become a better and emotionally more mature person, so as to handle life better and love and help others more effectively. In this endeavor I will patiently and humbly wait until the grace of God is given to me.”
P5 Try in your meditations to choose a person whom you do not respect particularly, or perhaps even one whom you like least of all the people you know; or one who particularly irritates you. Then think how very much God also loves this particular person, just as much as He loves you. Even if the other person happens to be spiritually less developed, he or she is still loved by God. Know this ultimate goal but work first toward the immediate one, which is knowing and accepting yourself as you are: This implies having no illusions about yourself; attaining a healthy attitude toward your shortcomings, and learning to live according to life’s rules and not shirking from the sometimes necessary difficulties. Only after this is accomplished will you gradually begin to alter some of your wrong trends and begin to react differently. Clarify your motives first and purify them. Separate the wrong motives from the good ones in one and the same action/reaction pattern. That is your task now.
P6 Moreover, when tests befall you, as they must, pray that your thinking capacity should not be paralyzed. Just hold on to this thought: “Father, give me a clear outlook, even though I find myself confused and unhappy and mixed up at this moment. Help me not to forget that which I otherwise know. Let me see Thy truth in this situation, not as it appears to me at present in my very limited outlook.”
—The Pathwork® Guide