Lecture 129 – Winner versus Loser | Abbreviated Version

P2             In both attitudes, guilt and uncertainty are inevitable. The “winner” makes strenuous demands on the self which are not only impossible to realize, but destructive for all concerned. The “loser”, on the other hand, makes demands upon the world and on others to reward the self for the sacrificed happiness. This demand cannot be fulfilled. It is tragic because what you deeply believe must appear to be true, since you have started out to shape your behavior according to this belief.

As you know, images always appear to confirm their wrong conclusions. In fact, it is necessary to reach out for what you want. But when you are convinced of your limited wrong conclusion, it must make you feel guilty as you reach out for what you wish—hence a subtle no-current will barricade the way. By the same token, it is possible occasionally to forfeit your own immediate advantage for the sake of a loved one, without forever giving up all your rights and advantages. It is indeed possible to say yes to your own happiness without saying no to consideration of others. Translate your emotional reactions into concise words. Analyze their significance and then compare the result with those areas of your life where you are healthier and fulfilled because you are in reality.

P3             The full realization of your limited outlook signifies a major inner transition, and the result is the giving up of the limited choice. It means knowing the truth that love and self-assertion can coexist—in fact, they are interdependent. From an either/or consciousness you change into one of fullness and inclusiveness. There is no limit to how far you can go in expressing beauty, wisdom, happiness, fulfillment, productivity—for yourself and for others. Wherever creation takes place, universal powers must be at work.

P4             The balance between the self-directing mind and the creative universal powers is upset the moment the choice becomes a question of one versus the other. If you manifest your inherent potential, everything and everyone you come in contact with must be positively affected. Leaving the desire in a hazy, unformulated fog is not enough. All unconscious countercurrents, all misconceptions, must be dislodged. If you are afraid of not obtaining the desired result, you must somewhere in your psyche fear the desired result.

You may ask why you should fear happiness. You may fear the abandonment to it, or that bliss will make you lose control of yourself. You may fear the obligation accruing from it. Or, you may fear your inadequacy to obtain or maintain it. Wanting a goal does not exclude the fact that in your unconscious something says no to it. How it is wanted, what soul movements accompany this wanting, has first to be determined. In order to get to this point, two factors are necessary: the first is exploring your most subtle reactions, where and why you say no to what you want most.

You must know that you say no in some fashion if the result remains unrealized. The second factor is to clearly express in so many words, with your whole being, that this is what you want. Are you relaxed when you express it? Do you assume that it is possible, or do you assume that it is impossible? If you wish a particular fulfillment and do not have it—whether it be an overall issue, like success in a career, health, a fruitful mutuality, good friends, liberation from an inner problem, or a link in the chain toward attaining any of these results, the finding and dissolving of obstructions, of attitudes that hinder you—you must know that experiencing the fulfillment is within the scheme of Creation.

This conviction will strengthen your desire and will remove the false guilt which made you choose deprivation. It will enable you to firmly declare that you want to have fulfillment and you know it depends on you to obtain it. You not only want it, but know that you are going to have it and that you must have it to the extent that you remove doubt and negativity. Declare that its results must be beneficial for yourself and for others. Visualize how this will be so. Strengthen your will to remove all obstructions within yourself, all false ideas that keep you fenced in.

To the degree that you are relaxed and determined in such a declaration, you approach the fulfillment, because to the same degree you are living up to your end of the bargain. With such a commitment you automatically set the creative powers in motion. Moreover, it is necessary for the self to summon, deliberately and consciously, the universal forces, not only to help, guide, and inspire you to fulfill your part of the partnership and to remove all obstructions and reservations, but to make the thing, whatever it is, grow. The self-directing mind sets the universal forces in motion; they respond according to the direction set by consciousness.

Compare yourself with a gardener who must prepare the soil, but who does not make the plant grow. Preparing your own consciousness is like the gardener preparing the soil. Eliminating wrong concepts is analogous to the gardener pulling up weeds. Removing your blocks is like removing rocks in the soil that hinder the spreading of the roots and later the plants. Implanting truthful concepts compares to planting the seeds. Cultivating the proper attitude and patiently waiting until the seed has taken root and can sprout compares to the gardener tending the soil, seeing that it has sufficient light, moisture, and nourishment. If he wants a certain plant, he must sow the proper seed, but it is not up to him to accomplish the growth.

P6             You often wish for a specific result, but what you sow is the seed for the very opposite result. The same principle prevails in the healing process of the body. When you cut your skin, you have to wash the wound so that no dirt can prevent the healing process from taking place. You tend the wound to help the healing forces take their course. When you plant the seed of an outcome that your innermost self cannot quite accept, or where powerful countercurrents have existed for a considerable time, then the period of incubation, of quiet growth beneath the surface, is longer than when you plant something that your consciousness is ready for.

You often despair and cease to trust, because having ignored the period of growth, you have torn out the seed you have planted. Perfect self-responsibility comes from the recognition that you are the master of your life and that how you prepare the soil depends on you. This goes with a proper sense of limitation of your functions and powers, and the humility to entrust the self to powers that are beyond the confines of the self. You set the creative process in motion in a marvellous way when you know that the perfect possibility exists as a potential, and therefore as a still unrealized fact. The self is realized in choosing accountability and letting go of the tightness in the mind, as you commit and give yourself fully.

P7             Prayer means shaping a loose mass of hazy thoughts and concepts, of contradictory emotions. It will help all of you, my friends to realize that you hold on to doubt because you fear making a commitment.

P8             The doubt means, “I pretend to expect a maybe, but I am convinced of a no, which I am unwilling to face so that I can go on pretending.” And this is where the person who keeps believing that one can “get by” is blind. Holding back, you hope that life will first give you a big slice, and then, maybe, you can muster the willingness to give back a crumb. Full commitment presupposes wide-awake choosing, the freedom to do so without compulsion, conflict, or guilt. But such choosing requires you to be very much aware, and you cannot be aware if you run away from yourself. General awareness is the result of self-awareness. Your impatience tears out every seed you plant. Because you doubt, you conclude too quickly that results are negative, not allowing for the necessary time of incubation, the inner, invisible growth underground.

P9             If you love truth, you will also give up impatience. You will go step by step and give it time like a scientist who does the research patiently and laboriously, without shying away from effort, time, trial and error, who does not expect the greatest of all truths in a hurry. When the obstructions are too great (to heal and restore), this same power is diverted and temporarily appears as a destructive downward movement. This does not mean that another, evil power is at work: it is the same benign force which was forced to make a detour.

—The Pathwork® Guide