Lecture 189 – Self-Identification Determined through Stages of Consciousness | Abbreviated Version

P1             Consciousness permeates the entire universe and creation. Consciousness and energy are not the same, but they are interdependent aspects of the manifestation of life. As evolution progresses, this static condition decreases as consciousness and energy become increasingly more vibrant and mobile. Consciousness has experienced a separation so that aspects of consciousness float around in the universe, so to speak.

Many familiar traits, which you have always assumed could only exist through a person, are not the person per se, but are free-floating particles of overall consciousness. It does not matter whether these traits be good or evil, such as, for example love, perseverance, sloth, laziness, impatience, kindness, stubbornness, or malice. They all need to be incorporated into the manifesting personality. Only then can purification, harmonizing, and enrichment of the manifesting consciousness take place, creating the preconditions for the evolutionary process of unifying consciousness.

P2             According to its nature, each aspect of consciousness has its own characteristics, its own vibratory movement and frequency rate, and its own emanation of color, scent, and tone. The human being is a conglomeration of various aspects of consciousness. Some are already purified. Other aspects of consciousness are negative and destructive and thus separate, like appendages. It is the task of each human being in each incarnation to synthesize, unify and assimilate these various aspects of consciousness.

To the degree that struggle and tension exist in a personality, the various aspects of consciousness will be at odds with one another. The more conscious the struggle is, the better. It is a human distortion to identify with any of the above-mentioned aspects. You are neither your negative traits nor your self-punishing superimposed conscience, nor even your positive traits. It is more accurate to say that you are that part of you which managed this integration by determining, deciding, acting, thinking, and willing, so that you could absorb into yourself what was previously an appendage.

Each aspect of consciousness possesses a will of its own. As long as you are blindly involved in the struggle and therefore submerged in it, each of these various aspects will control you in turn because the real self that could determine your identification differently has not yet found its power. On the one hand there will be self-annihilation, self-punishment, and violent self-hate as a reaction to perceiving the self as only the negative parts.

P3             Since this conflict is too painful to face when it is believed to be real, the entire issue is put to sleep. You then lead a life of “as if,” or pretense, which then shifts your sense of identity to your mask. Before the universal self can fully manifest in you, there is already one aspect of it available right now which you can immediately realize: your conscious self at its best. It is a limited present manifestation of your spiritual being, but it is truly yourself.

The “I” that is able to make a decision, for instance, to truly face this conflict and to observe its various expressions is the self with which you may safely identify. When the entity begins to do this systematically a new stage of development is reached. Spiritual consciousness cannot manifest when your already existing consciousness is not fully put to use in the conduct of your life.

But as long as you follow the line of least resistance, giving in to blind involvement, giving up on finding true self-identity and settling blindly for a would-be existence, you remain stuck in the old rut of reacting from habit and easily justifying it. As long as existing values are not fully put to use, additional values cannot possibly be realized. This is a law of life that applies to all levels of being.

P4             The genuine will for good is an expression of the Higher Self. But there is also another will for good which can easily be confused with the former. It is the will to be good for the sake of appearance, for the sake of denying the lower aspects, because the conscious, determining, choosing self does not take up the challenge to confront the negative aspects. The giant guilt that threatens to punish these destructive aspects with total annihilation is not an expression of the Higher Self.

No one is entirely involved in this struggle, else it would be impossible to rise out of it. Through the very act of acknowledgement, a subtle but distinct shift in identification occurs. Before such acknowledgement, you were blind to some or all of your destructive aspects and were therefore helplessly controlled by them, indicating that you believed them to be you.

P5             The moment you identify, observe, and clearly articulate your destructive aspects, you have found your real self with which you can safely identify. Now you no longer need to persecute yourself so mercilessly with your self-hate. How different your attitude to yourself must be when you realize that it is the task of human beings to carry negative aspects with them for the purpose of integrating and synthesizing them. This allows for truthfulness without hopelessness.

Meaningful laws determine what aspects you bring with you. Every human being fulfills an immense task in the universal scale of evolution. Stages of development: (1) the half-asleep climate where you do not know who you are and blindly battle against what you hate in yourself. (2) the first state of awakening, when you can acknowledge, observe, and articulate what you do not like. (3) the awareness that the “I” which observes, articulates, can also make new decisions and choices, like setting a positive goal of self-acceptance without losing a sense of proportion; learning from mistakes and failures; refusing to give up when immediate success fails to arrive. (4) The eventual comprehension of those previously negated and hated aspects, which means their dissolution and integration.

To the extent you lead your life in such a way, the overall consciousness permeating the universe becomes less split off into separate particles and more unified. Thus, no matter how undesirable the reality may be, you can deal with it, accept it, explore it, and no longer be frightened by it. As long as this is not done, your innermost spiritual consciousness remains a principle, a theory and a potential to be realized only in the future. The moment self-identification takes place, a deep and apparently bottomless terror of the human soul disappears.

You may hide this terror from yourself or face it. The terror exists only because you do not know there is a real you beyond those aspects of you which you hate. As long as you lack the courage to explore whether your fear is justified or not, you cannot find out that it is not, and that you are much, much more than what you fear you are. You also find that life is full, rich, open, and infinite.

So, identification with the real self removes the terror of annihilation—not just death, but annihilation, which is different. To attain true spiritual consciousness it is necessary to first pay attention to the not yet fully utilized material within you. Every minute of depression or anxiety and every hopeless or otherwise negative attitude toward a situation contains various options. But it requires an act of inner will on your part to awaken your dormant forces and make them available to you.

When you begin to pose the question to yourself, “What attitude do I choose toward what I now observe in me and what I do not like?” you have made one of the most significant discoveries in this present phase of your evolution. Unrealistic hopelessness and unrealistic magical hope are the two extremes which lead to a vicious circle.

But do you not have other options available? “I will not be deterred by the fact that building a beautiful edifice requires patience. I will not be childish enough to expect this to be done at once. I want it and will use all my powers to do it, but I will be patient and realistic. I would like the spiritual powers in me to guide me, but if I cannot perceive the guidance yet because at the beginning of this undertaking my energies are too dense and my consciousness too dulled, I will trust and wait and persevere. I want to give my very best to the venture of living. I will try over and over again to identify, observe, and articulate what I do not like, without being identified with it.”

Integration happens best in a threefold dialogue: the dialogue of the conscious self with the demonic (destructive) aspects, the dialogue of the conscious mind with the divine self, and the dialogue between the divine self and the demonic self.

—The Pathwork® Guide