Lecture 198 – Transition to Positive Intentionality | Abbreviated Version

P1             When negative expressions are not admitted to the self they congeal into a festering sore of guilt and self-doubt which, translated into concise words, would mean: “If only the truth were known about me, it would be that I am all bad. But since this is the real me, and since I do not want to cease existing, I cannot want to give up me. All I can do is pretend that I am different.” It (negative intentionality) is really a conscious attitude and expression, only you have chosen to ignore it, until you have finally “forgotten” that it is there.

P2             In order to make the remaining aspects completely conscious, and also in order to bring about the change from negative to positive intentionality, it is necessary that you peruse those “little, unimportant” everyday thought patterns which have become so much part of you that it hardly occurs to you to pay attention to them. Thus you can ignore a reaction of ill will, envy, or blaming resentment in yourself in spite of being aware of your negative intent in other respects.

For example, you may admit an irrational anger or hate. You may outwardly assert that these reactions are irrational, but a part of you still feels entitled to have these feelings because that part feels unjustly treated. You still react to the past and bring your reaction into the present. Let us assume you find yourself angry and resentful in a present situation. One part of you senses that your demands and responses are unjustified; another part feels so deprived and demanding that it reacts as though the world ought to revolve around you, and prevents you from seeing the entire picture objectively.

What is necessary at this stage is to draw out the thought that festers in you, and examine it with that part of you which is mature. You have to follow this confused thought all the way and use all your resources and attention to go further in your self-understanding. Then your negative feelings with the distorted thoughts behind them will be met by truthful, mature and realistic thoughts. The latter must not push the former into hiding again. It is necessary to admit the existence of the mistaken, destructive, mean and unrealistic attitudes, but it is not enough.

The next step is that you must know exactly why these attitudes are negative, and in what way do they distort truth. You then can intelligently consider the realistic situation instead of your childish, distorted view of it. If you can first express the totally irrational desire and intent behind the totally destructive attitude, and then express in what way this intent opposes reality, fairness, and truth, then whatever the negativity, you will have made another major step toward changing it into positive intentionality.

P3             Your adult thinking has to express itself alongside the childish destructive thinking about the issue in which you are so emotionally involved. It is absolutely necessary for you to know the ramifications and the significance of your faulty attitudes; for instance, why your anger, your hostility, your jealousy, your envy, and your unfair, onesided demands are truly unjust. Only then will you also understand that healthy anger can be justified.

When this is understood, you can experience it cleanly, without guilt, self-doubt, weakness, and lingering ill-effects. Though feeling anger and hurt can be justified, as long as you do not clearly know whether your anger is justified or not, you will always be confused. You will always fluctuate between guilt and resentment, between negation and rejection of self, of others and of life, and between fear and blame.

If the adult intelligence is used merely to rationalize the painful confusion, to build defensive cases, to justify one’s own situation, or to protect oneself from admitting the destructive intent, then nothing is ever gained. But if the adult mind is used to shed light on the irrational demands making it clear that they are unrealistic and unfair and showing that the resulting emotional reactions prove destructive for all concerned, then a lot will be gained and the truth of the situation will emerge.

Every truth can be put into the service of a distortion. There is no one formula that can protect you from evil: only sincerity of heart can do so. This sincerity of the heart and this good will must be cultivated again and again.

P4             Let us now return to jealousy, envy, and competitiveness. Why are they absolutely never true and justified feelings or emotional reactions? Because the underlying thinking derives from the assumption that the universe has only a limited supply of desirable things and experiences and that therefore what someone else receives is being taken away from you. The moment you believe in the premise that you have reason to feel deprived because someone else has something that you do not have you also negate the fact that it is you who cut yourself off from what you could have.

It would therefore be wise if you first examined your areas of jealousy, envy, and competitiveness very closely; second, if you admitted that whatever it is you envy, you also push away; and, third, if you examined how you negate it, how you reject aspects of the very thing you envy which are necessary for acquiring it. This would lead you to the realization that others whom you envy must obviously have fulfilled the natural law inherent in all creative experience.

The more you do so, the deeper will be your understanding that the universe yields unlimited good to all entities who are open to receive it. See how you close yourself off and stay with the negative attitudes which deny fulfillment.

P5             One of the most important attitudes to acquire for proper self-respect and self-acceptance is the ability to admit being wrong without feeling unworthy and unlovable. To one who is negative it appears that the outside world does the depriving, but in reality that person cuts himself or herself off from the reality of the world’s ever-available abundance.

Competitiveness—a variation of envy and jealousy—also departs from the wrong premise that self-value is determined by measuring and comparing the self with others. No human being can be measured and compared with another. They have simply utilized their creative faculties more than you who envy them. You willfully doubt and negate abundance under the guise of intellectual considerations, and yet inwardly begrudge what others have.

This wasted energy cannot work for you, but must work against you in a way that will hurt and deprive you, for you are driving a separating wedge between yourself and the richness of creation. Ask for guidance and inspiration for this process. Ask for help in experiencing increasingly the abundance of the universe.

P6             Only when you are open and receptive can the universe give you its riches. Hence, the first step toward establishing a receptive attitude is to let out the evil that is in you, to no longer deny it, to lose your fear of the destructive self. Then you can experience pain. And as you lose your fear of self, of pain and of evil, you will be in the appropriate state of receptivity. Whatever hurdle you come across, if you can believe that the creative divine force can eliminate it, it will be done.

It is a lawful process that involves you totally and makes you totally self-responsible. Bring the level of feelings and the level of mind together. Probe the meaning of your feeling experience, and the validity and reality behind the feeling. Find out if the assumption that underlies a feeling reaction is valid. Any destructive attitude is an expression of an underlying value judgment, and these value judgments must be very clear as to their accuracy or fallacy.

P7             Human beings have all kinds of little thoughts every day and every hour of their lives. These thoughts mean a lot. Your thoughts, just as much as your feelings, create your actions and your experiences. They create your state of body, mind, soul and spirit. When you are clear within yourself, you will not be upset about the other person’s negativity and destructiveness toward you; you will know it for what it is.

You may become angry, but you will not be confused, weak, guilty, or afraid, nor will you be diminished and annihilated. By the same token, when the other person expresses his or her life, feelings, or rights which may not coincide with your desires, you will be able to accept this.

P8             The little infant will then no longer make its claims of “all for me and my will, never mind others.” These claims must be expressed, but they must be known to be deeply unrealistic and destructive. It also needs to be understood how and why they are so. As you treat yourself, so must you inevitably treat others: this is known to you. But the reverse is equally true: as you treat others, so will you treat yourself.

—The Pathwork® Guide