P1 You learn to identify with each one of your aspects and identify them, one by one. You learn to accept even those aspects that you do not like and thereby transform their energy, instead of separating yourself from them so that they manifest as external forces. You are part of the universal consciousness, just as a specific aspect within you is a part of your total personality.
Your intrinsic fear of bridging the gap between the little, separate ego consciousness and the all-consciousness stems from the idea that if you bridge this gap you will lose yourself. Again and again, you ask yourself why this gap exists. Let me now give you a new version of the same process.
P2 Eventually you will understand on the deepest level why you identify with this separated ego consciousness, why you are so afraid of letting yourself merge with the greater consciousness. Suffering actually comes from your resistance and is therefore unnecessary. Human language is fashioned according to a very narrow aspect of reality. Thus my words can always be misunderstood and distorted, or simply sound incomprehensible, confusing, and contradictory.
Creation “started” with the divine spark. The spark may have been tiny in an immense vacuum. Yet in this tiny spark was the utmost divine reality, comprising everything that is conscious within the most powerful creative energy, the most incredible wisdom and love. The infinitely good divine Creator aimed to fill this vacuum, a vacuum of nothingness, with the spark of the all. In the process of spreading, particles of this All, this divine spark, seem to get lost and “forget” the origin of their wholeness and connectedness.
These particles believe themselves to be isolated dots of consciousness, thrown into the outer darkness and struggling against being swallowed up by it. This struggle is an illusion; the fear is an illusion. The connection always exists, but in the process of penetration, the advancing, spreading life and Allness is partly diminished in its manifestation. In this diminished state there are “times” when the outer darkness seems nearer and more real than the inner life of the spark.
P3 Evil comes into existence when the particles of the divine spark lose their memory, and have not yet regained the knowledge of their connectedness and struggle against the vacuum. The temporary transition creates a state that may be called evil. But it is temporary. This temporarily and apparently separated aspect of divine reality must inevitably be drawn back into the ever-spreading All. It is not really drawn back.
Rather, the ever-growing fullness of the spreading spark catches up with the aspect that has moved ahead in a diminished form. Feel yourself as you bring truth and divinity into your whole being. This is the spark in you pushing to penetrate the outer regions. Giving up evil seems like voluntarily going into the dark nothingness—which is confused with physical death. Since the divine reality must ultimately fill everything that is, all particles must reunite themselves—or, rather, discover that they have always been united with the All.
The fear that the vacuum will engulf the apparently separated divine spark is what you experience when you meet your innermost terrors. This is the plan of creation, this is evolution, this is the aim. Can you see how you, every one of you, are a part of it? You have a task, for you are God. The ultimate in you, the All in you, sends you forth, sends an aspect of itself forth, which then manifests as an apparently separated ego-consciousness. It is the task of this separated aspect to probe its own depths and potentials to find the infinity of life, power, wisdom, love, beauty, and eternality. For all the whole is also contained in the part.
P4 For as you learn to accept both the positive and negative aspects in you and thus unify yourself, you will begin to feel the same way about your surroundings and you will know that all people—whether you like them or not, approve of them or not, whether they are developed beings or not—are aspects of the whole, just as you are. You will also know that the negative, either in yourself or in others, is merely an aspect of the positive being.
The only way you can cease feeling afraid of life, of other people, of death, is to meet what you are most afraid of in yourself. The moment you think of this work in terms of “getting rid” of feelings, you must become confused. The false ideal of a highly developed spiritual state is that it should be completely without anger, rage, fear, pain, or sadness.
This idea is distorted and leads to a rigid, unrealistic image. The more you are capable of experiencing any feeling, the less you will be enslaved by it. You want nonmovement in the illusion that movement will carry you into the vacuum, where your consciousness will cease. Yet the life spark within pushes toward movement.
P5 On your path, you are learning to move your body and your feelings; learning to move your mind, so that your spirit can move you. You move your body so that the energy flow can penetrate your entire physical system, your physical energy. You move your feelings by learning to let them out and feel their movement in you. You move your mind by opening it to new ways of looking at things. This is an essential task.
Thus what you may now believe to be emotions are often merely fixed opinions. And where your feelings should unfold, you are paralyzed and unable to let them flow. There is no future state where all your goals are accomplished and you no longer need to move. This concept arises in itself out of fear of movement, rejection of movement, hence out of the illusion that movement is undesirable. As long as movement is a chore, the temptation to become stagnant and give in to the vacuum is great.
P6 People who are advanced in their development may indeed have resolved residual feelings of hate, pain, anger. The more residual feelings have been accepted, the greater is one’s ability to move the soul currents in any direction at any time. Such people can now experience any feeling at will. The experience, however, must not come from tight self-will; it has to come from the smooth, healthy inner will.
When you can increasingly produce feelings, you will be more able to bring out any last vestiges of feelings that have been neglected. Even when these feelings are completely gone, you should practice emotional fluidity to keep your soul substance vibrant and flowing. Begin by listening into yourself to find what your predominant feeling is at this moment. At first it may only be faint and you will need to build it up and allow yourself to experience and express it fully and intensely. Always work with meditation, asking for guidance and inspiration.
P7 Take any situation you are in now that is bothering you; any disturbance in your life. Look at the construct you have built in your mind with your tightly fixed conclusion to convince yourself and eliminate disturbing self-doubts. Probe with your active, deciding faculty to envisage alternatives other than the one you chose. Play with these other alternatives.
Again, allow your spirit to inspire and guide you into new channels, which can show you that you will not be annihilated if you abandon your view fixed to the present interpretation. Often you must first unearth what it is you really believe. But once this has happened, those beliefs have to become flexible. Consider other beliefs. If the tendency to build a cluster of opinions and judgments under certain circumstances does exist, it is always there in abeyance, waiting for the next occasion.
I want to give another exercise in the form of meditation on the triad of pride, self-will, and fear. See the same bothersome situation from the viewpoint of pride: How are you acting from pride? Then visualize the same situation, focusing on how it would feel to give up pride. If the only alternative seems to be humiliation, then start probing for other possibilities. Ask for inner guidance to experience yourself without pride, yet without humiliation and with dignity.
—The Pathwork® Guide