Lecture 226 – Approach to Self – Self-Forgiveness Without Condoning the Lower Self | Abbreviated Version

P1             About fear of death. The fear of death has its origin in the confusion of dualistic thinking and perceiving.

P2             Life cannot be non-life, for it is the intrinsic nature of life to be alive. For you take unthinkingly for granted that life can suddenly become non-life, that its innate nature suddenly changes into an opposite. You must come to the realization that this is pure nonsense. Everything that is created, everything that is, can only be what it is. It cannot be what it is not, even if on a superficial level of appearance it temporarily seems otherwise. You soon discover that all opposites are illusion and are facets of the same oneness. Therefore death must be an illusion.

On the level of your consciousness you are totally, or almost totally, focused on the level of manifestation, and not on the level of origin, or on the level of the source. Life radiates outwardly. It sends out its irradiations, its streamings, its energy currents, its rays. But these rays are only the outer “messengers,” bringing life forth gradually. The spiral movement of growing needs repetition and needs to link up these repetitions with different contexts and connections.

Life very gradually penetrates the void and fills the void, which then can never again become the void. On the borderline where life meets the void, energy and consciousness—which are life’s main aspects when expressed in human language—congeal and harden into matter. This level can also be called the level of manifestation, which must not be confused with the real life, the source.

P3             By and large you are geared to the level of manifestation and you confuse the manifestation that is animated by eternal life with eternal life itself. Life can temporarily withdraw itself from the matter it has created and then allows the matter to dissolve itself into its original substance. Your fear stems from being identified with the manifestation that is animated by the source. You are the source. Even your present personality, your thinking and feeling, your being and experiencing, your capacity to will and decide—all that is the source. Non-life cannot do any of these things.

And you believe, my friends, still somewhere, somehow, in a part of you, that when you withdraw that life from the matter that you created through the meeting of life and non-life that you then cease to be. You need to learn that everything you are now, even in its imperfection, is the ever-existing eternal life and can never not be. Within your present limited manifestation lie unlimited possibilities of expansion of your consciousness, of your experience, of your creative ability to mold life and life forms, of your sense of being who you really are.

The issue is your confusion about accepting the self with its lower-self aspects, squarely facing its negativity, and yet seeing its destructiveness and its damaging effects for what they are. You confuse self-acceptance and self-forgiveness with condoning and whitewashing the negativities of the Lower Self; and you equally confuse self-devastating guilt and self-hate with honest admission of what is indeed wrong and needs to be changed. The negative aspects must be fully accepted, forgiven and seen in context with the whole personality, but they must never be condoned.

P4             If fear of death lurks in your heart, consciously or unconsciously, self-forgiveness is extremely difficult, because one of the worst punishments is the threat of extinction. Fear of death creates also a fear of movement, which is completely contrary to reality. Therefore changing is a movement that seems to accelerate the process of dying. Staying immobile upholds the illusion of stopping time and sustaining the status quo.

This is one of the major inner reasons for resisting and distrusting change and growth. When you are determined and committed to change and bring out the divine potential, duality will fuse into a unity in which you can be charitable with yourself and can have mercy with yourself, and in which you can face the Lower Self precisely because you have this basic love and mercy toward all being, including your own.

Only to the degree you embrace an utter commitment to move and to change can you trust that the person you know and experience as yourself must continue to be. No matter how much you change your manifestation to bring it into accordance with your divine potentials, you still ultimately remain you, for you are God.

Everything that exists, lives and breathes, is even in its most minute form a manifestation of God and therefore essentially eternal. The fear of your own unforgivingness on the one hand, and, as an apparent antidote, self-coddling and self-indulgence and denial of the Lower Self on the other, always exist simultaneously. They are the distortion and inversion of the unity of self-respect and total self-honesty.

P5             Realize that the Lower Self is nothing but a creation that has come about through the encounter of life with non-life. When life meets non-life, energy creates matter, and consciousness splits off into fragments. Truth and reality become confused because of the limited perspective of the fragments. All of your duality is that—a limited aspect. You have created artifacts, artificial thought-splits that confuse your mind.

Life finally penetrates and thrusts itself into non-life and enlivens it, even if in that process—again and again, in an ever-rhythmic dance—it withdraws itself at intervals from the life manifestation. As matter disintegrates, it has already been spiritualized by having possessed the kernel of life, even if only for a temporary period. And it will reawaken.

Matter itself is a creation of life, for the void cannot create, it is essentially non-life, until it is filled by life. So even when matter seems to disintegrate, it is not lifeless. It merely pursues an inverted, indirect route. The disintegration of matter will bring it together again in new combinations and the more obvious, greater life spark returns to animate it again.

The same principles exist on the level of consciousness. The split perception of reality exists in many diverse forms, which create the suffering humanity experiences. The further the movement of life advances, the more these split concepts unify and eliminate suffering. Once you commit to divine truth, you will increasingly experience life for what it is. It is all; it can never be anything else. It will not be confused with the manifestation that harbors the spark.

In that spark is everything you know yourself to be. That consciousness you are now is not bound to your body, although particles of that consciousness remain as reflections within each molecule, each cell, and each atom of the matter your consciousness has created. That tiny spark travels through channels that are infinitely lawful, meaningful and harmonious, following laws of attraction and repulsion. When cells reunite themselves into new combinations, they then create genes and these genes within the human structure change as the consciousness changes.

Thus there could be no cell in a dead body that is not an expression of the total personality which once enlivened and animated that cell. There is a direct connection between self-hate, fear of punishment, fear of death and the disintegration of the cell structure that falls into a channel that is then attracted to a corresponding new form.

If you live in a split-off duality in which you have to hate yourself in order to face the truth about the Lower Self, or in which you have to deny the truth about the Lower Self in order not to feel and experience the self-hate and fear of dying, of death, of non-life, then you live in a very specific channel and create thoughts and invisible forms that bring you into an ever-repeating pattern of confusion and suffering.

Now you are ready to take a greater step and truly complete that approach, that attitude of total dedication to self-confrontation and self-respect, self-love and self-forgiveness in true proportion. You can now allow the God in you—which you can be the moment you so choose—the godly attitude to be in a state of self-love in the healthiest, most divine way, without a trace of self-indulgence or denial of what is true in your Lower Self.

You can have respect, love and compassion for your wonderful struggle, for your wonderful honesty even while you also see the still existing dishonesty, the cowardice, and all the other ugly little attitudes of the Lower Self, without ever forgetting who you really are.

P7             Learn to take a little distance from your thought patterns. Observe yourself following them, giving them life, giving them animation and energy, and thereby creating a state of fear, self-hate, distrust and hopelessness. This is what I ask you to do. Proceed every day of your life now with this new observation of your thoughts.

—The Pathwork® Guide