Lecture 232 – Being Values versus Appearance Values – Self-Identification | Abbreviated Version

P1             The key to happiness and abundance is changing over to a new level of operation on which the old attitude of taking, wanting, demanding and not giving is transformed into an attitude of love, giving, devotion and sincerity. There is no other key. But to talk about it before one is even aware of the non-giving attitude is superficial and pointless. You have to recognize such attitudes before this key can become useful.

Fundamentally, two value systems govern human beings. One is being values and the other is appearance values. Appearance values always aim to create an impression. Such false values may have crass manifestations, such as craving approval and selling out one’s truth to impress others. This tendency can be quite obvious and overt, but it can also be quite subtle and covert. Inwardly, in many activities and directions you subtly focus on secret, semi-conscious expectations and concerns about “what will I be thought of.” The fear of negative reaction from others causes a tremendous amount of anxiety.

P2             Appearance values, no matter how strong and apparently loving or creative the effort and goal may be, always connote an insincerity. For what you do is done for effect: either directly through the activity or to attain power and money for the sole sake of proving your value. Being values may simply mean to do the best you can, regardless of others’ opinions, so that the activity fulfills its innate purpose or offering whatever you do up to God, contributing love beauty, goodwill, comfort.

Acting for what the act itself represents always finally amounts to an act of love, spiritual sincerity, to giving and enriching live. What you give to others, you give to yourself. Not giving to others deprives you even more than it deprives others. It makes you incapable of receiving what is available for you. Appearance value makes you feel totally devastated when attached, judged, criticized or rejected, but you are unaware of it when no one criticizes, attacks, judges or rejects.

You only seem centered when you receive praise and admiration because you feel gratified at the moment. You are unaware of the anxiety that eats you up, even in moments of success. As long as you receive your worth from others, you must constantly worry about your ability to maintain the uncentered state of receiving self-value from outside yourself.

Operating with being values brings a deep inner security. This is not to say that you would not be hurt by hostile judgments, unfairness and the intent to put you down. But there is a difference between the hurt that can never shake your foundation and the hurt that does shake your foundation.

P3             Then (when in being value) your sense of self-value is not dependent on the opinion of others, on their knowing your assets and ignoring your liabilities. This creates a centeredness, a security, and an awareness of your eternal values that cannot be described in words. When you operate with appearance values, you have no identity. You make your identity depend on the opinion of other people, on how you appear in their eyes.

As long as appearance values hold sway underneath the surface, you constantly eat away at your self-esteem. You cannot connect with your Higher Self. Honest searching need not be covered up. It is a beautiful, growth-producing struggle. Decide, again and again and again, every day and every hour, in all your activities, to give your very best in truth whether or not you get admiration, whether or not it is recognized. Do it for the sheer sincerity, truthfulness, beauty and love of God, love of yourself, love of life.

Even if your intellect already embraces the unitive system, in which one is not versus the other, it does so only in theory. This is very different from the live experience of being connected to your innermost center from which comes the intuitive certainty of what is right, a certainty about yourself, about others, about life. It is free from all defensiveness. If appearance in the eyes of others takes precedence over what you may want, you cannot even allow yourself to know what you want.

For if what you want might reduce honor and esteem from others, it may seem preferable to talk yourself into wanting what you ought to want, whatever you think would earn you praise and admiration. Therefore, when you operate with appearance values, you actually invest in not experiencing what you really desire, what may be your destiny, what is your real potentiality, your real fulfillment, your true longing.

Many systems of appearance values exist, while only one being value exists as far as your own Higher Self is concerned, with all the infinite varieties of self-expression of all higher selves. Your being value can never interfere with the Higher Self value system of another person. Appearance values interfere with one another and are at the same time stiff, rigid, unvaried in their conformity and dullness.

P5             Appearance values always disconnect you from your true desires, in direction, in self-expression, talent, taste, opinions, philosophy, in true feelings, your way of life, in your potentialities to develop, as well as in little everyday decisions. You borrow an imagined desire that fits into the appearance value system you have adopted. And when you follow that through it leaves you empty.

When you have a deep, sincere commitment to invest your best in all you do, when your integrity makes sure that you do not have other hidden motives but give for the sake of giving—which is always giving for God’s sake—then you will experience sooner or later the incredible miracle that your heart’s desire is God’s will.

P6             It says in the Bible, “In the beginning was the Word.” There is a very deep meaning to this. The word is the first creative impulse. The word is the expression of an intent, and the word gives form to the intent. From the word, action can then follow, creative action, the follow-through process. The word is the first blueprint, it is the plan. There is a tremendous power in the word, whether the word is spoken with a loud voice or spoken in silence with an inner voice, affirmative and decisive.

The word is the chisel, it is the tool with which you shape and give form to the soul substance that dwells in you and in which you simultaneously dwell. It surrounds you just as much as it penetrates you. Every thought and intent is a powerful agent. From the one-pointedness, from the conflict free attitude behind the uttered word, comes the creative power. Feelings, desires, concepts, perceptions, knowing must all be one cohesive and compatible fused energy stream. Then the power of the word is enormous.

P7             If you do not yet know what the general direction is, you can use the being value system as you grope, ask and wait receptively for the answer. That is also following the being values. The struggle that follows will produce life and light rather than chaos and confusion. We will deal in the future with other aspects of the power of the word – the word you speak or think, and the influence you have with that. If you think of yourself as nothing you insult your inherent divine manifestation. If you underestimate yourself and your power, you must harm and insult others.

—The Pathwork® Guide