Lecture 240 – The Anatomy of Love – Self-Love, Structure and Freedom | Abbreviated Version

P1             The love of the universe permeates all that is. Love is the medicine that heals all illness and all sorrow. It is obvious that love is a feeling, but it is not so obvious that this feeling must result from an act of will motivated by intelligence. So love is certainly intelligence. Lack of love can simply manifest in separateness, in hopelessness, in lack of faith, in depression, in a bleak vision of the universe, in fears, in feeling victimized.

It can also manifest in resentment, blame, hostility, and overt hatred, with many shades in-between. Love is certainly pure intelligence and reason. The deeper the understanding of the prevailing circumstances, the farther the vision goes, the closer the person is to truth, the less will it be possible to experience hate, and the more love must grow. If you do not wish to love, if you do not intend to love, you will not love.

P2             The feeling of love cannot exist without intelligence and intention, or, to put it differently, the emotion follows reason and will. Love is also much more than reason, will, and emotion. It is sensation on every level of your being. When you are not in a state of love, your sense perceptions highlight experiences that you find undesirable. They appear unjustified to you. In other words, your unloving perceptions appear absolutely correct.

When you are in a state of love your body functions very differently. Your breathing, heartbeat and pulse are different. Your bloodstream functions differently from when you are in a state of hate. When you love you remain in a state of health. Although the lack of health is not necessarily a direct reflection of your hate, it may be a necessary byproduct of your struggle to find the way out of hate and fear into love and trust. Self-love and love for others are intricately connected. The inner struggle to find the ability to love yourself is unceasing.

P3             Yet, this struggle is also beautiful. Security lies in your first admitting the struggle, becoming aware of it. Most of you fluctuate between hatred for self and others. It remains for you to find the places in your inner being where you still live in the pseudo-solution of loving yourself by indulging yourself, by blaming others, by excusing and justifying your own lower-self traits. You live in inner turmoil due to your frantic attempt to hide your self-hate from yourself.

The moment you can admit this, you can open your heart and your mind to all your true values. You can begin to give yourself honest recognition without hiding and justifications. Most of all, you can open yourself to the inner inspiration that will guide you to experience how you can acknowledge your Lower Self without becoming ensnared in self-hate. Now, as you love yourself in the true way you will find that being firm with yourself is as much an expression of love as is tenderness.

P4             In a meditation of the deepest sort you bestow tender love upon every aspect of your manifestation; every organ that you neglect loving; every attitude, no matter how distorted. As long as you are under the impression that your lack of freedom is imposed on you by other people or conditions, you struggle in vain. When you rebel against authority figures, you believe that through your rebellion you will attain freedom. When you protest indignantly about every frustration that life puts in your way, you believe that if there were no frustrations, you would truly be free.

Thus you are furious about what you believe is done to you by authority, by frustrations. Now I would like to shed light on a similar, related reaction, and that is your innate rebellion against any boundary or structure, against anything that you experience as confining. Structure and boundaries are part of the loving creation. They exist in every part of reality. If there were no laws and no boundaries, the world would disintegrate in chaos and destruction.

Why are you so suspicious that it hardly ever occurs to you to be open to the possibility that laws, boundaries, structure, rules come from truth and love, rather than from hostility and a desire to thwart you? Aside from your childhood experiences, or your interpretation of them, the true reason is that you distrust the tyrant of your own Lower Self that wants to rule selfishly and cruelly. In hiding this tendency you project it outward, so that you assume all rules and laws, all restrictions and boundaries spring from lack of love.

Structure and law can be found in every loving aspect of Creation. You need to distinguish between the two kinds of boundaries: loving, meaningful ones and the ones you create yourself through error and misperceptions. When you clearly recognize both, it will be much easier to re-educate the wilful, tyrannical child inside you, and you will be able to accept lovingly both kinds of boundaries: the first in recognition of their intrinsic meaningfulness, the second in recognition of your own limitations.

By temporarily accepting the structure you have created, with its own inner logic and laws, you can relinquish it, you can grow beyond it, and you can even choose it. You fail to comprehend that through freedom of choice you have the power to create and change conditions. Instead, you are mostly busy demanding from others that they present you with the conditions that you fail to create through your own choices. As you accept the narrow structure and recognize it for what it is—the product of your limited thinking—so will your scope of freedom widen.

It is made with the will to see the truth and meaning and lovingly accept, on those grounds, the narrow structure of the present, even if this seems at first to restrict personal desires. This is the act of love and freedom. In order to attain this ever-widening scope of freedom, it is necessary to first find how often your reactions are thoroughly misplaced. Then you can develop a knowing reaction instead of a blind one.

When you find yourself in rebellion, forget for the moment the issue and the pros and cons and focus rather on what are your feelings. Do you feel rebellious? Do you react blindly? Do you let in other considerations? What is your state of mind? In these questions you will get the clearest answers you need and you will immediately be able to determine whether you are in a state of love or in a state of hate. When you are in a state of love you do not submit.

Submission is the price you wish to pay in the hope of attaining self-love through others, or placating a benign authority in return for a life of unrestricted indulgence. For this impossible aim you sacrifice your freedom and integrity and then blame the outer world for the result. In a state of love and freedom you probe and weigh with an utterly open mind and then choose whatever truth you find in that state. You may want to choose to embrace and accept a particular infringement on your freedom.

Or you may reject the infringement in a clear, wise, intelligent assertion. There comes increasingly the opening up from within, where your heart begins to throb in love for others around you, for the beauty of Creation. When self-love has not yet been completely established, you contract in these moments in a frightened reaction, finding yourself unable to endure the state of lovingness. Inside, a tiny voice of self-hate still proclaims that you do not deserve it.

Then particular kinds of fear may arise: fear of death, fear of illness, fear of losing what is dearest to you. You may then revert back to the old, drab, grey state to feel more secure and less afraid of loss. In this condition the experience of deepest love for and by the universe will be unbearable, and you will produce false fear.

I want to suggest here a very specific meditation, asking to contact the highest forces within and around you: Where and how do you hate yourself? Where and how do you project this self-hate onto others and thereby increase the self-hate? Where do you prevent experiencing your freedom by childish denial of boundaries and structure, of laws and rules, in small and large areas? And where do you feel within yourself that you are unworthy? Where and how do you love your soul, your mentality, your body?

Go deeply into the meditation in which you let yourself know that you are divine, that you need to fully face all aspects of yourself and that this will only increase your sense of divinity. Let your consciousness align itself with the divine will of loving yourself without indulging yourself, without whitewashing your Lower Self, seeing it straight, and loving your beautiful structure, your incarnation, all that is around you, even that which seems to infringe on you in some way.

—The Pathwork® Guide