Lecture 30 – Selfwill, Pride and Fear | Abbreviated Version

P3            For each unpurified being desires, perhaps unconsciously, things that are wrong and things that are against spiritual law. This conflict between the conscious desire and the unconscious desire represents the greatest handicap in your development. Therefore, it is of utmost importance that you muster the courage to test your feelings, to translate them into clear and concise words so as to realize, “Here I have a desire, coming from my little ego and from my self-will that does not correspond with the other part of my nature that is just as real.”

P5             How does this connect with fear? If your self-will is strong — and it can be all the stronger if it is unconscious — you must constantly remain in fear that the desires of your self-will will not be gratified. Thus, coupled with self-will you find fear. The self-will desires very strongly something that is wrong, impossible, or contradictory to other currents within you, while at the same time you have the inner knowledge of your deeper being, the higher self that knows very well that these wishes are unfulfillable. This knowledge creates fear, since the self-will is still demanding its gratification. What does pride mean? It means that your ego is more important than the other person’s, that you desire advantages for yourself, and that you have vanity. If you feel the humiliation of another person less than your own, you still have too much pride. And who does not feel that way, my friends? If you yourself are humiliated, you are hurt; if the other person is humiliated in the same way, you may feel sorry, but the reaction is certainly entirely different, no matter how much you try to tell yourself that this is not so.

Feelings change indirectly and not by force, nor by simply trying to tell yourself that you feel in a way you do not! Rather, learn not to make yourself so important, for your little pride and ego do not matter half as much as your feelings tell you. If you learn to be more detached about this vanity of yours, then and only then will you have the proper sense of proportion in comparing yourself to others and therefore have the same reactions for others as for yourself. That is what is meant by loving your brother as you love yourself.

As long as you feel differently for your brother than you do for yourself, you violate the spiritual law of justice, aside from the law of brotherhood. Your lightforce cannot be liberated as long as your feelings do not correspond to spiritual laws. Thus, you are unjust in your feelings: you put yourself on a higher plane than your brother. The moment your vanity and pride assume such importance, you are again in constant fear, being afraid that the gratification of your pride will not be granted to you by the people around you.

P6             Whenever there is something bothering you, you will find the answer in the light of what I have just told you. By continuing on this path, the realization must come sooner or later that you are the next fellow and the next fellow is you. If you become happy, you must make other people happy.

Pray not only for the understanding of what I am saying here. Pray also for strength and enlightenment and everything needed to follow this path, not merely for your own sake but so that you may become a source of giving and serving.

P6             During your sleep, when your spirit is in the spirit world, you often have insight into your previous incarnations, into the reasons for this present life, and about what you are supposed to accomplish. Painful knowledge might be connected with it which you cannot use constructively at this time; it may depress you and hold you back from your development. According to your merits on this earth sphere, you will receive instruction, guidance, and advice in the spirit world when your body is asleep and your spirit is free; this knowledge remains in your unconscious and can affect you indirectly when you are awake, even though you do not know why you react in a certain way, why you make certain decisions, and so on.

P7             How many people accept something said by a respected authority and yet reject the very same words if spoken by someone whom they look down on! Development means independence, the ability to select truth from untruth.

—The Pathwork® Guide