Lecture 47 – The Wall Within | Abbreviated Version

P1             You can gain clarity only if you become aware of your emotions, desires, and motives.

P2             Coming off your high horse is healthy; and health, emotional or otherwise, must have a very good effect on you. On this path one tries in a spirit of true understanding and humility to accept oneself as one is at the moment, and also to accept one’s inability to change as yet. This approach leads to the perfection you strive for: facing and admitting the wrong desires without giving in to them, and yet without suppressing their existence. The more you learn self-honesty, the deeper can the truth penetrate into the core of the soul. Wherever the conscious emotions, opinions, thoughts, conclusions, and desires are separated from those which are unconscious, we can see a wall in the human soul. You all know that thoughts and feelings create forms of subtle matter which are of a substance every bit as real as your material substance.

P3             Spiritual substance, on the other hand, is the product of your thinking, feeling, and being, and it is formed from them. Do not forget that the purpose of the wall is to keep the negative in hiding, and one of the motives of this desire is actually misapplied goodwill. But it consists also of cowardice, pride, self-will, and impatience. Therefore, your aim has to be to destroy the wall altogether. In most cases, this cannot be done at once and if it is hastily attempted, people can suffer breakdowns and all sorts of other complications.

P4             People search for truth; and truth can come to you through many channels.

P5             Only by examining your feelings, by listening into your emotions can you get the answer. It (the unconsciousness) considers coming out into the open a grave danger. It is ignorant and draws utterly erroneous conclusions in this respect, as in many others. Everyone of you who is working in image-finding teams should get into additional group work where you can discuss your problems, difficulties, and successes.

P6             Let us take the current of self-will. It is there. You use it, whether consciously or unconsciously make no difference. The using of the self-will generates a current, and the current has an effect. The current of self-will is not the self-will itself. It is the self-will at work. Self-will could be dormant, it could be unused. Then the current would be weak, or so hidden in its effects that the personality would never know what causes the effects. But if it is used, even in the unconscious, even if it does not manifest as such, even if it manifests in a very roundabout and hidden way, the manifestation of it is caused by the current.

Imagine it as something like electricity. Certain conditions are necessary to produce electric current. It is exactly the same thing. The electric current is a result of the conditions that can bring it forth. Is that clear? But the mind actively produces currents. The “must” or the compulsion is always a result of untruthful, mixed, and confused motives. Duty is something entirely voluntary. If you fulfill a duty without compulsion, you do so because you decided it. It may be something that life seems to force upon you.

But once you recognize that you cannot live life entirely as you would choose, that life brings situations and predicaments which one has to accept, whether one likes them or not, the healthy attitude is to say yes to life as it is. Then you voluntarily accept a duty. In other words, the borderline is in the very fine distinction between saying yes to an imposed or inevitable duty, or struggling against it and being forced to accept it against one’s will. The difference lies in your attitude.

—The Pathwork® Guide