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On this human plane of existence, individual units of consciousness exist and sometimes we all get along. Just as often though, conflicts arise creating friction and crisis. What’s the spiritual significance of relationship with others?

On the innermost levels of our being, we have some bits governing our thinking, feeling, willing and acting that are quite nicely developed, thank you very much. Then again, there are other parts still in a lower state of development. And they like to have their say in things, too…We are all, each and every one of us, living in a house divided, which always creates tension, anxiety and pain. In short, that’s why we’ve got problems…

So some aspects of our personalities are already in truth. Others, not so much…This results in confusion that leads to disturbances in the force fields of our lives. And what do we usually do about that? We look the other way—away from the dirty laundry and towards the parts that are already tidied up…

This pushing aside of one part of ourselves and identifying ourselves with another, is not—surprise, surprise—a path that leads to unification. Nope. Instead, it widens the gap. So how do we sew up this split? We have to be willing to bring out the deviating side and face it…To the degree we move our feet in the direction of inner unification, to that exact same degree we will know outer peace…

The dissension with others, it turns out, has nothing to do with actual differences, per se. But rather it’s about the differences in our levels of development. Just as within each individual…Relationships, as you may have noticed, create a great challenge for most folks. Here’s why: only in relationship to others do our own as-yet-unresolved problems get activated. And what do we typically do then? We back off. This helps tremendously in maintaining the illusion that the problem lies with the other person…

This is why relationships are, at one and the same time: a fulfillment, a challenge, and an accurate gauge to what’s going in one’s own inner state… If we take the weenie way out, shrinking from this challenge and giving up on intimate contact, many of our inner problems won’t get called into play. Ah, safe…

We need to look at our level of contentment and fulfillment in relationships like a yardstick. They measure our own inner state. And they help point us in the direction we need to go for our own self-development…

When two people interact who are on different levels of spiritual development, the more highly developed one is responsible for the relationship…The more developed a person is, the more they will be willing to search for their own involvement whenever they feel negatively affected. It doesn’t matter how at-fault the other may be. A lesser-developed person always lays the blame at someone else’s feet. This is true whether we’re talking about loving partners, parents and children, friends or business associates…

It’s only through the doorway of self-responsibility that we begin to look for our part in our own problems. Our willingness to change then becomes the passageway to freedom. Relationships then become both fruitful and fulfilling. And that is their deeper spiritual significance…

The bottom line is this: no matter what the other does wrong, if it disturbs us, there is something in ourselves that we overlook…

The blame game is so ubiquitous, we often don’t realize we’re playing it, essentially telling the world, “You are doing it to me,” or “You’re making me feel this way”…One person blames another, one country blames another, one political party blames the other…

So why do we do this? Because we get pleasure from expressing our hostility while whitewashing ourselves…This is a lose-lose game that harms all of the players. And we are often not aware of our blind involvement in it…

Without a doubt, intimate sexual relationships are the most beautiful, challenging, spiritually important and growth-producing kind…When difficulties arise—and they always do—they are flags for something we need to attend to. For those who are listening, these are loud and clear messages. The sooner we heed their call, the more spiritual energy will be released, so bliss will keep building…The moment we start thinking of our relationships as irrelevant to our inner landscape, it’s curtains.

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Read Original Pathwork^® Lecture: #180 The Spiritual Significance of Human Relationship