Since creating The Pull, a collection of the Pathwork Guide’s teachings about relationships, I’ve had the nagging feeling I left something out. Then about a year ago, I was thinking about the lecture called Fear of Loving, and I wondered: Where did that end up? I searched the list on my website, Which Teachings are in What Books, and was surprised to find it didn’t show up anywhere.
Then I recalled that this lecture had gone through my mind when I wrote The Pull, but I’d gotten a clear inner No about including it. In hindsight, this seemed like a massive oversight. So I started a list of “good lectures I missed,” thinking to one day make blog posts out of them.
Last fall, I looked at that list and Fear of Loving jumped off the page. Then the idea landed to create a book made up of lectures that specifically talk about fear. I combed through the list of nearly 250 lectures and came up with nine that had “fear” in the title. Next, I waited for the wave of energy to arrive that would carry me through the writing process. But it wasn’t there.
The way things have worked for each of the 16 books I’ve created is this: I wake up very early—around 4:30 am is typical—and write with intense focus all day, knocking off around 5-6pm. I rest a bit, then go to sleep and do this again the next day until the book is done. Sometimes I am given weekends off. As I’m writing, my armpits are sweating like crazy regardless of how chilly the room temperature may be, even in winter.
To rework the Pathwork Guide’s lectures, I would read every sentence and then start rewriting it differently, using language that is easier to read. Often, when I’ve really been in the flow, I start to hear the words to use before I’ve finished reading the next sentence.
Let me back up a bit. I’ve known since early 2011 that I have been tapped to be the next channel of the Guide. When this all first bubbled up, I channeled a short message from the Guide for the Pathwork community. It didn’t go over well. I was so affected by the negative blowback, I haven’t revisited what the Guide said since.
But not long before I started writing Blinded by Fear: Insights From the Pathwork® Guide on How to Face Our Fears, I looked at it again. The part that really struck me was when the Guide said this: “It is going to be a difficult time for people who have embraced the Pathwork in the past and are now asked to consider new ways of looking at the same information…I am confident that those who have embraced the Pathwork in the past, will find that the new information will bring new ways to look at the material and will also provide new insight into the material…
“I cannot tell you whether or not you will find this additional material to be instrumental in the way that you promote the Pathwork. I can tell you that what the angels who are working on this material hope to accomplish is to give you new tools to present the same information in a way that is clear and that people can receive more easily.”
Well. To be honest, I was floored when I re-read this. I’ve known all along I had the disadvantage of knowing what it looked like for Eva Pierrakos to channel the Guide, and that it might look quite different for me. Suddenly it became crystal clear that all the lecture rewriting I have done over the past five or so years has been me channeling the Guide. So when I started creating Blinded by Fear, I understood what was happening behind the scenes much more clearly.
It turns out I am clairaudient. I hear words and even full sentences coming from the Spirit World inside my head. More specifically, the Guide is able to speak directly into my inner ear. And perhaps more importantly, he is able to assure that I understand what I have read before I attempt to rewrite it. Then he offers words and/or phrases to help me through the rewriting process.
When I was rewriting the 100 or so lectures that wound up in the seven books I call the Real.Clear. series, my task was to add lightness. My tone is very casual and I sprinkled them with expressions or idioms, which admittedly may or may not work that well, especially for non-native English speakers.
For writing Blinded by Fear, I was directed to just roll the ball down the middle of the lane. (See what I mean?) So back to that first day with my fingers ready on my keyboard: I was ready to go, but my muse didn’t show up, and I haven’t written anything so far from my headspace alone. I had no intention of starting now. With no wind under my wings, I searched about for something else to do to fill my time.
I have created many audiobooks and it has been a steep learning curve to learn how to prepare the files properly. One area that is incredibly tedious and time-consuming is going through the files to clean up what’s called “mouth noise.” By looking at the spectral display of the recording, you can actually see these little clicks that need to be taken out. It requires many torturous hours to clean up each podcast, and I know that I have become much more skilled at the task as I have gone along. So I decided to give the teachings in Pearls—the first audiobook I made—another pass.
The little visual clicks, though, can sometimes be mistaken for a consonant at the end of a word. So while it’s possible to listen to another audiobook while doing this work, periodically I need to listen in to the file I’m working on to see what is being said. It was while doing this that I heard myself say, in the first chapter of Pearls, called Privacy & Secrecy: “our greatest fear is fear of ourselves.”
With that, I knew which teaching needed to be the first chapter in Blinded by Fear (although I hadn’t yet downloaded the title for this book.) With this important piece of information, we were off to the races, waking up the next day at 4:30am to begin another amazing journey of writing with the Guide close by my side.
As I wrote each chapter in this book about facing our fears, I was amazed at the brilliant way these teachings come together. They illuminate this challenging topic from many different angles, until an amazing mosaic is revealed.
I believe this book is intended as a balm for these troubling times.
P.S. One other thing from that channeling in 2011 really struck me: “Once we have established a new way to work together, we will begin to transmit lectures that will be more similar to those that were transmitted in the past.” I can’t wait!