6 The push-pull of both desiring and fearing closeness
Blinded by Fear
6 The push-pull of both desiring and fearing closeness
/
RSS Feed
Share
Link
Embed
We struggle between desiring closeness—and fearing it. This tears us apart from the inside.
Why do we long for closeness—yet pull away the moment it appears? In this episode, we explore one of the most painful inner conflicts: the simultaneous desire for connection and fear of intimacy.
At the heart of this struggle is a deeply ingrained belief that life is a competition—“me versus the other.” This mindset drives us to protect ourselves, hold back, and maintain control. Yet it also traps us in isolation, creating the very loneliness we’re trying to escape.
True connection requires something radically different: a shift toward “me and the other.” This means learning to give—to life, to others, and to ourselves—without fear of loss. It also requires honesty: seeing both our destructive tendencies and our hidden strengths.
As we begin to release our need for control and stop withholding, a new experience emerges. Relationships become more natural, life feels safer, and a deeper sense of aliveness takes hold.
The paradox? Letting go doesn’t weaken us—it frees us. And what once felt dangerous becomes the very path to fulfillment.
Jill Loree is the founder of Phoenesse and a longtime student of the Pathwork teachings. She has studied the Pathwork Guide’s material since 1997 and completed four years of training to become a certified Pathwork Helper.
When she first encountered the Pathwork teachings, she described the experience as “walking through the doorway of an AA fourth step and finding the whole library.”
Through Phoenesse, Jill writes and teaches about personal transformation using the spiritual psychology found in the Pathwork lectures.
Her books present these teachings in clear, accessible language to help readers apply them in everyday life. Her work focuses on helping people move from the struggles of duality toward the peace of inner unity.
Raised in northern Wisconsin, Jill began her professional career in technical sales and marketing before discovering that her true calling lay in spiritual teaching and writing.
She lives in New York with her husband, Scott Wisler, who now works with her in sharing these teachings around the world.
