Category: 7) Bones

The Love Mask: How we use Submission to Get Love

Reading Time: 4 minutes

When a person is inclined to choose love as their pseudo-solution, they have the basic feeling that ‘if only I were loved, then everything would be OK.’ So love is supposed to solve every problem. In reality, life doesn’t work this way, especially since love is something we’re to give, not get locked into demanding we receive. Flying under the…

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The Power Mask: How we use Aggression to Stay Safe

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Some of us seek power as our pseudo-solution for getting our needs met in life. Here we think that the answer to all our problems lies in having power and being independent. This may be our pervasive life solution, or this may only show up in certain areas of our lives. As with all pseudo-solutions, there will always be a…

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The Serenity Mask: How we use Withdrawal to Avoid Pain

Reading Time: 2 minutes

The pseudo-solution of withdrawal is often chosen when we have been so torn apart by the first two options—submission and aggression—that we had to find a way out. So we resorted to withdrawing from our original inner problems, and then also, as such, from life. Underneath our withdrawal is a false attempt at serenity. So now we’re still torn in…

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RECREATING HURTS IN RELATIONSHIPS

Reading Time: 2 minutes

One of our favorite ways to attempt to remedy past hurts is through our choice of who to love. We’ll unconsciously choose just the right people who most remind us of the parent who missed the mark by the widest margin. At the same time, we’ll manage to also find traits that are a good match for the parent who…

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SUBMISSION, AGGRESSION & WITHDRAWAL

Reading Time: 1 minute

There are three major divine attributes—love, power and serenity—that in the healthy person work as a team. They maintain flexibility amongst themselves so one never drowns another out…But when they are in distortion, they step all over each other. Then love, power and serenity get distorted into their evil twins: submission, aggression and withdrawal… In our efforts to master our…

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