The Pull
The Pull
19 Love cannot be a commandment
Love cannot be a commandment. It’s a free, spontaneous soul-movement, not a duty.
Love cannot be a commandment. It’s a free, spontaneous soul-movement, not a duty.

As all psychologies and philosophies agree, love is the key to feeling fulfilled; it brings security and fuels our growth. Where there is no love, we will find disharmony, a result of not living in reality. Yet love cannot be a commandment. It’s a free, spontaneous soul-movement, not a duty. The more people try to love to be obedient or because their conscience demands it, the less they love; the vicious circle closes. Where love does exist though, there will be fulfillment. Said another way, when we experience a lack of fulfillment, it’s a sure sign that our soul hasn’t yet learned to love. This is a simple equation that we often overlook.

Let’s look more closely at this topic and see how we can obtain this greatest key to life—not by taking marching orders from our intellect telling us to follow artificial, superimposed commands, but by following our heart.

We need to be standing on the substantial soil of reality and courage for love to flower. So we need to be without fear, distrust or illusion, to be capable of it. Only then will we have successful relationships. Only when we are present with what is—in alignment with reality—will we intuitively know when it is appropriate to trust and when it is not. We will be able to accept our loved ones as they are, adjusting our own feelings to whatever the reality is. We won’t need to grope in the dark, half-trusting and half-distrusting, tossed about between our fears and our needs.

Where love is lacking, we are in confusion, and conversely, where we’re confused we aren’t able to love. Love, however, manages to smooth all conflicts. We’ll be able to walk solidly along the line between aggression and self-assertion. We won’t be confused by the difference between submissiveness and willful domination.

We will assert our rights against unjustified demands, without resorting to hostility. And we will avoid compliance when it would be destructive but not be driven to stubborn rebelliousness. Concession won’t need to seem humiliating or like caving in.

It is only through love that we can find just the right balance between the precariousness of opposite extremes. The loving heart knows how to do this, but when we strive to reach the golden mean by way of mere intellectual understanding, it eludes us. No matter how hard we try.

Listen and learn more.

The Pull: Relationships & Their Spiritual Significance

The Pull, Chapter 19: Love: Not a Commandment

Read Original Pathwork® Lecture: #133 Love: Not a Commandment, But as Spontaneous Soul Movement of the Inner Self