About: Why remorse heals and guilt does not
Because our life force became attached to destructiveness, we inevitably inflict pain on others as well as ourselves. Yet if we are numb to the pain of what was done to us, we also become numb to the pain we cause others.
We must allow ourselves to feel the pain caused by our withholding, spite and maligning of others. That is, we need to have genuine remorse for the pain we cause and not get lost in false guilt.
Guilt involves a lack of faith in All That Is. Remorse is an emotion that will carry us home.
Guilt versus remorse
It may help to understand the difference between guilt and remorse. When we feel guilt, we are in effect saying, “I’m beyond redemption and deserve to feel devastated.”
We feel this way because we believe that our Lower Self is all of us.
We need to be aware of this powerful and dangerous wrong thinking. It’s not true and it’s an insult to God and all of creation, of which we—including our Higher Self—are an integral part.
Our self-devastating guilt is also deeply linked with our distrust of life. Our guilt causes us to cut ourselves off from the flow of divinity by going immediately to rationalizing our faults and failings—which of course are the areas we need to be facing and honestly owning.
With remorse, we are simply recognizing where we fall short—seeing our faults, limitations and impurities—while admitting there are parts of us that violate spiritual law. We feel regret and are willing to admit the truth about our destructiveness.
We recognize that it’s a useless waste of energy and hurts others and ourselves. Which is why we sincerely want to change.
With remorse, our self-confrontation is completely different from self-devastating guilt. If we feel remorseful, it is possible to say, “It’s true that I have this or that shortcoming or fault—I’m petty or dishonest, I have false pride or hatred or whatever—but this isn’t all of who I am.
“The part of me that recognizes, regrets and wants to change is aligned with my divine self—my Higher Self—which ultimately will overcome whatever I feel remorseful about.”
In this case, the “I” that can dislike aspects of ourselves and wants to change those destructive, untruthful, deviating aspects doesn’t fall apart. At the same time, it notices that something needs to be healed.
False guilt reflects a lack of faith in “all that is.” Remorse is an emotion that will carry us home. By feeling the sadness of the effects of our Lower Self, we are motivated to discover the true source of all life.
Everyone can win
On the journey of awakening, we transition from a self-centered, ego-driven existence, to connecting with all that is, deep within. But as we follow the urge for self-realization, our ego may see this as a race.
Who can wake up first… the best?
Guilt can then arise from this kind of competitiveness that tries to measure what cannot be measured—namely, one person versus another. Our push for specialness comes from this same misguided belief that we can triumph over others—and that we need to.
In the course of our work, we must come to know the truth about limitless abundance—that our individuality is never in conflict with anyone else’s. That it is possible to assert ourselves without being cruel or depriving others. We can also give up our immediate advantage for the sake of others.
Further, we can say yes to ourselves without saying no to others. Love and self-exertion can co-exist.
In the end, giving fulfillment to ourselves allows us to give to the same others. After all, we can’t give what we don’t have.
Real remorse never diminishes our divine nature. It helps uncover it.
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