We can look at life as having two basic principles: active and passive. Because these principles, or forces, penetrate everything that exists, they are also present in us. Since we have free will, we can always access and use them however we wish to create a beautiful life.

But we also have a Lower Self—the part of us that is fractured, with all its faults, confusion and blindness—that says no to life. In these areas we have self-will: our little ego wants to always have its own way.

While we have access to both the active and passive forces, our Lower Self doesn’t know how to use them wisely. We use one principle when the other would serve us much better.

Well, we can just align with God’s will, right? Yes, but finding God’s will often confuses us even more.

Which way are we to go? Let’s sort this all out.

Uncrossing our wires

It’s a misnomer to believe that applying our free will means being active, and following God’s will means to be passive. No. We’ll need to use plenty of our own willpower to find and follow God’s will. But we often confuse following God’s will with pressing too hard with our destructive self-will.

Often our tendency is to be active when being passive, or receptive, would be the wiser choice. This leads to congestion, followed swiftly by frustration. Likewise, we drop into passive behavior just when being active would be better. This leads directly into stagnation.

We get into trouble when we bump into people or circumstances that are not to our liking. Especially when they are downright wrong! We jump into action just when acceptance is what’s really called for. More often than not, we are powerless to change people, places or things. Yet we press with our self-will.

This pressing, pushing, forcing-type behavior is oh-so-tempting. In the end, though, it’s terribly ineffective at achieving much of anything except wearing us out. As the Serenity Prayer encourages, we must learn to ‘accept the things we cannot change.’ And this covers a lot of territory.

Acceptance, then, is the first step toward achieving peace and serenity. It’s what we must come to first, before we can move on to making a change.

The Serenity Prayer

God, grant me
The serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

We often revolt against the imperfections we encounter in life. While imperfections are everywhere, let’s be honest, they aren’t just in others. They exist in each of us.

In general, we are loath to look at where and how imperfections live in us. We routinely see and react to faults in others that we are blind to in ourselves.

Our emotional reactions are a way to try to fix or affect situations we don’t like. Sure, we hope to change things for the better, at least as seen from our own distorted view.

But life doesn’t work this way. Instead, we find ourselves pushing against the immovable stone wall put up by the other person. This adds no order, organization, or kindness to the world.

In fact, this mismanagement of our will only saps us of our freedom and energy.

If, instead, we could find a way to relax about that which we have no control over, we would miraculously find ourselves with more strength to change what we can—namely ourselves.

Every unpleasant emotion—every resentment, anger or shred of anxiety—is an indication that something is amiss in us. But what do we usually do? We look for who or what is to blame for our discomfort.

The solution lives inside us

The true way out—the way to shift our inner emotional situation—is not to clamor on and on about what the other has done wrong. Instead, when we have an emotional reaction, we can ask: “What is it that I want?”

Let’s face it, there is usually no lack of finger-pointing to go around. But no matter what the other has done wrong, if we are experiencing an unpleasant emotion, there is some faulty premise in us we need to search for.

If we don’t pause and begin to look within for the source of our unrest, we’ll surge into active gear, fueled by our resentment, fear or hatred. Acting from ill-advised desires of wanting to hurt or retaliate against someone else is always a losing proposition.

Any relief it creates will be temporary. Any fulfillment will be total illusion. We will only perpetuate feelings of frustration, and this does not help anything.

This is the moment to slow down and become passive. We need to be receptive to our inner experience so we can seek the solution where it lives: inside of us.

When we search for what we want, we need to pay attention to finding both our pure motives and our impure ones. Ironically, just the ability to surface our impure motives will have a purifying effect.

Finding our motives, we can apply the active principle to examine our pressing desires in the light of truth and honesty. Then we can begin adjusting them as necessary.

This type of inner analysis is something we can do throughout the day. Every few hours, just check in and see what unpleasant emotions have bubbled up. Take the time to ask, “What do I want?”

Look especially hard for conflicting answers.

These are blinking lights that always indicate an immaturity in us. Chances are we want something we can’t have or aren’t willing to pay the price for.

Such inner search exercises will lead us to maturity. God’s will for us is that we grow ourselves up and become strong, independent, healthy people.

We have been given the free will to run our own lives, but too often we use this freedom to run amok. When this happens, it’s on us to make a change—to grow up the immature aspects we find in ourselves—and stop pushing for other people and circumstances to change.

How to find God’s will

To be clear, our self-will is the will of our Lower Self, and its signature move is to act against our own best interest. It’s on us, then, to use our free will to uncover where Lower Self resistance hides inside us. This includes our wishful thinking and our self-deception.

This is how we begin to tune into God’s will.

God’s will isn’t actually all that hard to uncover. Anyone—whether spiritual, religious or atheist—can hear it. It’s the quiet inner voice that simply knows right from wrong. Often, this voice is hidden directly behind our inner blindness.

Our layers of Lower Self rationalizations and justifications are smokescreens designed to cover up our less-than-shiny motives. We need to be willing to use the active principle—to make an effort—and sort through the distortions. Then the clear, still voice of our Higher Self will be there, waiting to be heard.

Our Higher Self and God speak with the same voice.

Our first move, then, needs to be in the direction of self-honesty. We need to muster our free will and make an effort in this direction. We let God see that we mean business. And God appreciates a willing heart.

Also, we can pray for help along the way. If we do this and our aim is true, we’ll begin to know God’s will for us. Of this, we can be sure.

Conversely, if we’d prefer to remain mired in our resistance, the sluggishness and immaturity of our Lower Self will prevail. We’ll have a foggy meter for interpreting God’s will for us. We will follow our wrong instincts, in exactly the wrong direction, at the wrong time.

How can we know which way we’re heading? That’s easy: by how we feel. Following God’s will brings feelings of peace and relief, along with a sense of utter rightness. When such clarity comes, it won’t be some big revelation written in the sky. Rather, it will be like an inner knowing that we are living right.

We’ll become willing to do the next right thing, which in turn will bring us closer to our highest good. Once we get right with ourselves, we’ll organically feel ourselves being right with God. What’s more, when our passive forces begin flowing in the right channels, we will readily find ‘the courage to change the things we can.’

Most reassuring of all, we will feel support and guidance arriving from the Spirit World, sent by God in acknowledgment of our sincere good intentions.

Our prayers and good efforts to clean up our hidden inner fog go a long way to aid our ability to receive clear answers that have the power to change our lives for the better.

And really, isn’t that what we’re all praying for?

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Adapted from original Pathwork^® Guide Lecture #29: The Forces of Activity and Passivity – Finding God’s Will