Here is a summary of the qualities of the self, as taught by the Pathwork Guide. Notice how the energy shifts as you move from one part of the self to another. Then pay attention during your day to which part you are identifying with. For awareness is a key aspect of waking up and transforming our darkness, or negativity, back to the light.

Spilling the Script: A Concise Guide to Self-Knowing
In its unhealed state, the basic message coming from the ego is “See me, I’m better than you, love me for it.”
In its unhealed state, the basic message coming from the ego is “See me, I’m better than you, love me for it.”

Unhealed Ego

Immature
Lives in duality: Can’t hold opposites
“Me versus the Other”
“See me, I’m better than you, love me for it.”
Competes to be better than others
Uses drugs, distractions to avoid, escape, try to transcend itself
Demands to be master

Spilling the Script: A Concise Guide to Self-Knowing
Shame is the feeling that we are exposing something we need to hide. It is the outer layer of our mask.
Shame is the feeling that we are exposing something we need to hide. It is the outer layer of our mask.

Shame | Outer Layer of Mask | Not Real

Don’t expose • Must hide
A lid that lifts off with appropriate exposure
“I’m the only one”
“I’ll be rejected”
“I’ll be so embarrassed, I’ll die”

Spilling the Script: A Concise Guide to Self-Knowing
The mask is a strategy intended to get love and defend against pain. It does neither.
The mask is a strategy intended to get love and defend against pain. It does neither.

Mask Self | Defense Strategies | Not Real*

Does the dirty work of Lower Self • Furthers separation
Uses 3 defenses against pain of not getting needs met:
   Aggression • Submission • Withdrawal (none work)
The 3 defense strategies are masks: Power Mask (Attack)
    • Love Mask (Submit) • Serenity Mask (Avoid)
Judges others to avoid feeling affected by them
Signs of mask: Urgency • Secrecy • Denial • Projection
Uses forcing current or collapses • Resigns to hopelessness
Blames • Is a victim • Gives away power • No boundaries
Uses rationalizations • “Shoulds” • Excuses
False guilt for getting pleasure from destruction, and for competing and maligning
False pain: “Don’t do this to me, life!”
False conclusions: “It’s not safe to love” • “If I’m perfect, I’ll be loved.”
Impossibly high standards • Perfectionism

* “Not Real” means this is a strategy, a manipulation of life, that is not energized by our life force.

Spilling the Script: A Concise Guide to Self-Knowing
The Little-L Lower Self suffers from being trapped in life-or-death duality, and from feeling scared and rejected.
The Little-L Lower Self suffers from being trapped in life-or-death duality, and from feeling scared and rejected.

Little-L Lower Self | Young Split-Off Fragments | Real Self in Distortion | Untrue Self

“I Can’t” • Tense • Scared • Anxious
Has immature Emotional Reactions
Holds unconscious mistaken beliefs • Unfelt pain
Inner soul split is transferred onto parents
Wants 100% perfect, exclusive love • Can’t win
Always wants its way • Feels frustrated, rejected
Wrong conclusion: I’m not enough, I don’t matter
Attaches pleasure current to pain • Must recreate painful atmosphere/experiences to come alive
Caught in duality • “Me versus the other” • Life or death • No way out
Feels: Pain • Helpless • Rage
Blocks pain by freezing feelings • Becomes numb
Pain creates resentment • Child fears punishment for hate 
Adult recreates childhood hurts • Reacts immaturely
Vicious Circle: Rejection > Pain > Hate > Shame > Guilt > Self-Punishment > Self-Rejection…
Transfers painful experiences onto others • Lives in a trance

Spilling the Script: A Concise Guide to Self-Knowing
The Big-L Lower Self wants to rule. It demands love but resists giving. Its intention is to stay stuck and stay separate.
The Big-L Lower Self wants to rule. It demands love but resists giving. Its intention is to stay stuck and stay separate.

Big-L Lower Self | Real Self in Distortion | Untrue Self

“I Won’t” • Cruel to self and othersHighly charged • Harsh • Raw
Faults: Self-Will • Pride • Fear
Misuses will: “I’ll hurt me, and I’ll hurt you”
Fears humiliation • Must rule
Strategies to rule: Bully • Betray • Seduce/Reject • Hold back
Stuck in blindness • Blocked • Numb
Keeps secrets
Demands to get love • Gives to get
Not willing to pay the price or make the effort
Follows Path of Least Resistance
Attaches pleasure to destructiveness
Builds cases against others • Maligns • Judges others
Negativity • Bad moods • Pessimistic
Hidden No-Current says No to life
Rigid • Inflexible • Stubborn
Withholds • Won’t give or give in Rebellious • Resistant • Defiant
Inner critic • Tyrant • Victimizer
Negative Intention is to stay separate • Uses untruth to justify itself
Uses materialism to avoid the work of self-knowing
Uses half-truths to deceive • Creates confusion
Is not in truth

Spilling the Script: A Concise Guide to Self-Knowing
The healthy ego commits, wants to see misconceptions, and is willing to pay the price. It will eventually dissolve into the Higher Self.
The healthy ego commits, wants to see misconceptions, and is willing to pay the price. It will eventually dissolve into the Higher Self.

Healed Ego

Mature
Lives in duality: Can’t hold opposites
Prays to know the truth
Discovers and unravels mistaken beliefs
Connects Higher Self with split-off child
Aligns with God’s will
Focuses • Commits
Surrenders • Lets go
Willing to pay the price and make the effort
Desires to be a servant
Eventually dissolves

Spilling the Script: A Concise Guide to Self-Knowing
The Higher Self takes practice to connect with. It is full of paradox and serves connection.
The Higher Self takes practice to connect with. It is full of paradox and serves connection.

Higher Self | Real Self | True Self

God is in me • I am Light
Divine spark • Inner Essence
Never comes, never goes • Just is
Trustworthy • Flows
Nature • Life • Life force
Courage • Wisdom • Love
Abundant • Creative • Orderly
Streams Yes-Current that creates
In unity • “Me and the Other”
Balances active & receptive
Accepts imperfection
Feels remorse for hurting others • Experiences real guilt
Feels pain of blindness
Allows Pain • Sadness • Grief
Holds opposites • Holds whole truth • Comfortable with paradox
Compassion and self-responsibility
Self-Autonomy and selflessness
Humility and strength
Emptiness and fulfillment
Giving and receiving
Guidance • Intuition • Inspiration
Transparent • Authentic • Discerning
Pleasure • Joy • Beauty • Humor
In harmony • In balance • Flexible
Willing to give, to be of service
Present in the Now
Enjoys the peace that surpasses all understanding

Return to Meeting the Selves

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