Inner Child

What it is

These split-off parts still carry the fears, hurts, mistaken conclusions and impossible expectations that remain from childhood. Until they are brought into the light, they continue reacting to life as though the past is still happening.

Why it matters

The Higher Self gently guides the wounded inner child by revealing the truth that the child could not yet understand. As we feel the old pain, question the mistaken conclusions, and consciously embrace the truth, these split-off parts gradually mature and become part of the whole again.

From Bones

~1~

Inside us is this inner child that can’t let go of the past because it can’t make sense of it. As such, it also can’t accept and can’t forgive.

Over and over, it sets up similar conditions, thinking this time it can win.

The inner child is intent on mastering the situation, instead of falling prey to it. For losing feels like being crushed. And we plan to avoid this, no matter what.

The stakes are high indeed. Too bad the whole thing is unfeasible.

What the child inside us wants to accomplish cannot ever be achieved. What’s more, our efforts are highly destructive.

First of all, it is a total illusion that we were ever defeated. So then it’s just as big an illusion that we can now be the victor. (Chapter 8)

~2~

If we allow our unfelt feelings to surface, this will give us a lot more insight. But we won’t be able to avoid re-experiencing the hurt of our inner child, even if generally we were also happy as a child.

It’s quite possible we were both happy and unhappy. (Chapter 8)

~3~

If Utopia were real, what would it look like? First let’s explore it from the view of the young, immature aspects of the human personality. This is what we might call the inner child, which is the part that gets lost in life-or-death struggles.

Here, Utopia means we get everything we want, how we want it and when we want it. We also want to have total freedom—with no responsibility. In the childish parts of our beings, this is exactly what we want. (Chapter 19)

~4~

There are two completely different ways for the involuntary self to manifest. There’s the Higher Self, with its higher wisdom and guidance just mentioned. And then there’s the surfacing of young inner aspects of the self. These immature parts still deny the residual pain of long ago and are sitting in pain.

The first part helps and guides the latter.

If we use this meditational approach of connecting our Higher Self with the wounded inner child, energy will be freed up. This can then be used for the all-important purpose of healing these young, hurting parts of ourselves. (Chapter 2)

Continue with: Emotional Reaction • Feeling • Unconscious