Meeting the Selves

Qualities of the Higher Self, Lower Self, Mask Self, Ego

From Spilling the Script: Meeting the Selves

Unhealed Ego

  • Immature • Lives in duality: Can’t hold opposites
  • “See me, I’m better than you, love me for it.”
  • Competes to be better than others • “Me versus the Other”
  • Uses drugs, distractions to avoid, escape, try to transcend itself
  • Demands to be master

Shame | Outer Layer of Mask

  • Don’t expose • Must hide
  • “I’ll be so embarrassed, I’ll die”
  • “I’m the only one” • “I’ll be rejected”
  • A lid that lifts off with appropriate exposure

Mask Self | Idealized-Self Image | Defense Strategies | Not Real*

  • Does the dirty work of Lower Self • Furthers separation
  • Uses defenses to mask pain of not getting needs met:
  • Aggression • Submission • Withdrawal (none work)
  • Three defense strategies: Power Mask (Attack), Love Mask (Submit), Serenity Mask (Withdraw)
  • Judges others to avoid feeling affected by them
  • Signs of mask: Urgency • Secrecy • Denial • Projection
  • Uses forcing current or collapses • Resigns to hopelessness
  • Blames • Is a victim • Gives away power • No boundaries
  • Uses rationalizations • “Shoulds” • Excuses
  • False pain: “Don’t do this to me, life!”
  • False guilt for getting pleasure from destruction, for competing and maligning
  • False conclusions: “It’s not safe to love” • “If I’m perfect,
  • I’ll be loved.”
  • Impossibly high standards • Perfectionism

*“Not Real” means this is a strategy, a manipulation of life, that is not energized by our life force.

Little-L Lower Self | Young Split-Off Fragments | Real Self in Distortion | Untrue Self | Inner Child

  • “I Can’t” • Tense • Scared • Anxious
  • Has immature Emotional Reactions
  • Inner soul split is transferred onto parents
  • Holds unconscious wrong beliefs, unfelt pain
  • Wants 100% perfect, exclusive love • Can’t win
  • Always wants its way • Feels frustrated, rejected
  • Wrong conclusion: I’m not enough, don’t matter, am not worthy
  • Attaches pleasure principle to pain • Must recreate painful atmosphere/experiences to come alive • No way out
  • Caught in duality • “Me versus the other” • Life or death
  • Feels: Pain, Helpless, Rage • Blocks pain by freezing feelings
  • Pain creates resentment • Child fears punishment for hate
  • Adult recreates childhood hurts • Reacts immaturely
  • Vicious Circle: Rejection > Pain > Hate > Shame > Guilt > Self-Punishment> Self-Rejection…repeat
  • Transfers painful experiences onto others
  • Lives in a trance

Big-L Lower Self | Real Self in Distortion | Untrue Self

  • “I Won’t” • Cruel to self and others • Highly charged
  • Harsh • Raw • Misuses will: “I’ll hurt me, and I’ll hurt you”
  • Faults: Self-Will, Pride, Fear • Fears humiliation • Must rule
  • Strategies to rule: Bully, Betray, Seduce/Reject, Hold back
  • Stuck in blindness • Blocked • Numb • Keeps secrets
  • Not willing to pay the price or make the effort
  • Demands to get love • Gives to get • “My way!”
  • Follows Path of Least Resistance • Attaches pleasure to pain
  • Builds cases against others • Maligns • Judges
  • Bad moods • Pessimistic • Inner critic • Tyrant • Victimizer
  • Hidden No-Current says No to life • Rigid • Inflexible • Stubborn
  • Withholds • Won’t give or give in • Rebellious • Resistant • Defiant
  • Negative Intention is to stay separate • Uses untruth to justify itself
  • Uses materialism to avoid the work of self-knowing
  • Uses half-truths to deceive • Creates confusion • Is destructive
  • Is not in truth

Healed Ego | Objective Observer

  • Makes peace with duality
  • Mature • Prays to know the truth
  • Sees and unwinds mistaken beliefs
  • Connects Higher Self with split-off parts
  • Aligns with God’s will • Focuses • Commits
  • Surrenders • Lets go • Desires to be a servant
  • Willing to pay the price and make the effort
  • “Me and the Other” • Eventually dissolves

Higher Self | Real Self | True Self

  • God is in me • I am Light• Divine spark • Inner Essence
  • Never comes, never goes • Just is • Trustworthy • Flows
  • Abundant • Creative • Orderly • Yes-Current that creates
  • Nature • Life • Life force • Courage • Wisdom • Love
  • Unity • “Me and the Other” • Balances active & receptive
  • Accepts imperfection • Feels remorse for hurting others
  • Experiences real guilt • Feels pain of blindness, sadness, grief
  • Holds opposites • Holds whole truth • Transparent • Authentic
  • Comfortable with paradox • Compassion and self-responsibility
  • Self-Autonomy and selflessness • Humility and strength
  • Emptiness and fulfillment • Giving and receiving
  • Guidance • Intuition • Inspiration • Discerning
  • Pleasure • Joy • Beauty • Humor • Harmony • Fluid • Flexible
  • Willing to give, to be of service • Is present in the Now
  • Enjoys the peace that surpasses all understanding

Guidelines for Self-Healing

Guidelines for Self-Healing offers tips for telling which part is in the lead—the Higher Self or the Lower Self—along with clues about what the ego should be watching for.

Higher Self Lower Self Ego Self
Mature Immature Pays attention and notices when we’re in an emotional reaction. Then takes action to sort ourselves out.
Quiet, calm, centered, patient Loud, angry, fearful Pays attention and notices when we’re being hateful or anxious. Then takes action to sort ourselves out.
Relaxes while in motion Controlling or hopeless Pays attention and notices our alternating forcing current or resignation. Then takes action to sort ourselves out.
Healthy No Rebels, resists, defies, denies Pays attention and notices our destructiveness. Then takes action to sort ourselves out.
Healthy Yes Submits, gives to get Pays attention and notices when we’re not standing on our own two feet. Then takes action to sort ourselves out.
Present in the moment Withdraws, runs, escapes, hides Pays attention and notices our avoidance, distractions and addictions. Then takes action to sort ourselves out.
Builds consensus Builds cases Pays attention and notices when we’re serving separation, not connection. Then takes action to sort ourselves out.
Holds opposites Opinionated, self-righteousness Pays attention and notices when we insist on being right. Then takes action to sort ourselves out.
Aligns with God’s will Aligns with self-will Pays attention and notices our lack of trust and ability to let go. Then takes action to sort ourselves out.
Fluid, resilient, free flowing Rigid, harsh, judgmental Pays attention and notices when we are stuck on a position or hard feeling. Then takes action to sort ourselves out.
Lives in harmony Thrives on conflict Pays attention and notices disharmonies in our lives. Then takes action to sort ourselves out.
Fights the good fight Follows the path of least resistance Pays attention and notices when we are being lazy. Then makes an effort to heal.

Key Aspects of the Spiritual Journey

From unity to separation to reconeection

From Spilling the Script

Unity

All is one.

The Fall

Use our free will to experience negative aspects of divine qualities; Descent into dark spheres caused masculine-feminine split along with inner splits and fractures in psyche.

The Plan of Salvation

The plan that gives us a path for escaping the darkness and returning to God, if we choose; Now we can save ourselves.

Incarnation

We take on a task to heal a certain aspect of our negativity in this lifetime.

Transference

Main soul split is transferred onto parents.

Mask Self: Defenses

Shame

Outer layer of our mask that wants to hide our inner distortions from ourselves and others.

Idealized Self-Image

Mask of perfection is designed to compensate for missing self-esteem and bring love: “This is who I must try to be, to be loved.”

Defenses

The strategy we choose for avoiding pain and getting our way: Aggression, Submission or Withdrawal.

Little-L Lower Self: “I can’t”

Needs Not Met

Child wants 100% perfect, exclusive love and to always have its way; This is not possible, resulting in feelings of rejection, humiliation and frustration that make the child feel inferior.

Images

Wrong conclusions about self, others and life are generalized and go into the unconscious.

Blocks

Resistance to painful feelings creates frozen blocks of energy and consciousness, which are held in the psyche and show up in the body.

Big-L Lower Self: “I won’t”

Faults

Lower Self uses various faulty ways to overcome its fear of humiliation (fear) and feelings of inferiority (pride); It wants to win, creates inner walls, builds cases and won’t let others off the hook (self-will).

Negative Pleasure

Pleasure current has gotten attached to painful childhood atmosphere; Life force is later activated through similar destructiveness.

Negative Intention

Lower Self resists giving or giving in; Uses images to justify this; Wants to stay stuck and stay in separation.

No-Current

Hidden faulty belief says no to fulfillment, making yes-current frantic and ineffective.

Vicious Circles

Negative patterns are continually recreated, resulting in pain, hate, shame, guilt and self-punishment.

Higher Self: “I am not alone”

Purification

We must bring all this into conscious awareness; Call on God to help correct wrong thinking, release unfelt pain, re-educate the inner child, and visualize a new reality based on truth; We must find our hidden No to life and transform it.

Transformation

Move toward connection; Activate the greater consciousness within.

Unity

Experience self as one with all.

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