There are essentially two philosophies about life.

At first glance, they seem to contradict each other.

One perspective suggests that true maturity—spiritual and emotional—means learning to accept life on life’s terms. And often those terms are hard to take.

Our best approach will be to accept what we can’t change.

When we won’t accept life, this theory says, we breed anxiety and disharmony. Our peace of mind will be destroyed by the tension this creates.

We make our situation worse.

So the gauge of a mature, well-rounded personality, from this perspective, is how well we are able to accept the inevitable.

Are we happy with our destiny?

And how comfortable are we with death?

The other perspective argues that we don’t need to accept any of this unpleasantness. All this talk about accepting hardship—including death—is completely unnecessary.

Our only destiny is the one we create for ourselves.

Whenever we decide, we can mold ourselves a new destiny—a better destiny. One in which we no longer suffer.

Real spiritual awakening, this side says, comes with the awareness that we don’t need to accept suffering. Unfathomable abundance can be ours—right here, in this moment.

These perspectives appear to be complete opposites. It’s confusing.

Yet if we search for each perspective, we’re likely to find them in nearly all great spiritual teachings—including these from the Pathwork Guide.

Where opposites meet

Can we find a common denominator that unites these approaches that seem to be mutually exclusive?

In fact, we can: the common thread is fear.

It is like this. If our desire for happiness stems from our fear of unhappiness, we can never be happy. But if we want happiness just for the sake of being happy, then nothing will keep us from it.

It may seem small, but there’s an enormous difference between these two approaches.

Because here is how fear works: If we have fear, sooner or later we’re likely to experience the very thing we fear—in order to rid ourselves of the fear.

If, however, we are able to discover the truth behind the fear—which is, of course, that there is nothing to fear to begin with—then we can shed our fear without having to experience it.

Unfortunately, we are typically slow to see this insight. In that case, we must endure the circumstances we fear, until they lose their fearful roar.

In other words, as long as we desire something positive out of fear of its opposite—the negative—our fear will keep us from attaining what’s positive.

This is a common reality here in this dualistic dimension.

Too often, we don’t want good things for their own sake, we want it because we hope it will make the bad things go away.

Let’s look at how this manifests through our common desires.

Living and dying are one process

We can begin with the greatest challenge of duality: life and death. These are really two sides of the same coin, or two facets of the same process.

This means that by learning how to die—which is what it feels like when we accept something we don’t like—we will discover there was nothing to fear.

We’ll discover that this thing we all fear so much—death—isn’t real. There is simply no such thing as death.

Furthermore, since these two are intimately connected, if we fear death, we’ll also fear life, and vice versa.

Let’s make an additional connection regarding death. It’s impossible to love—to truly love—if we fear death.

Just look at how humans behave.

Those who live their lives with great gusto and joy are the ones who aren’t afraid of dying. But the more we shrink back due to our fear of death, the more we will cling to life.

Not because we are enjoying life so much but because we are so afraid of death.

If this is us, we’re not really living at all.

We’re barely hanging on.

Fear of dying, then, stops us from living. Yet it’s only by deeply living that we learn that life is one long, endless process. And dying is just a temporary illusion.

In truth, clinging to life is never going to bring us pleasure or a sense of meaningfulness.

So these two things are also linked: the more we cling to life, the less we enjoy it. It’s just a matter of degree.

And since nearly no one is completely clear of their fear of death—for when that’s the case, we no longer have to incarnate here on Earth—hardly anyone truly lives.

That said, there are some who are largely free from fear of death. They are the ones creating meaningful lives filled with pleasure.

All this is so hard for the average person to sort out on their own—to see that death is not something we need to fear.

That’s why we must keep living one life after another.

We must keep learning how to die until we can do it well.

Until one day, we get it: dying doesn’t frighten us.

That’s when we arrive at life eternal—but not a day sooner.

For as long as we fear death, we must keep going through it.

The illusion of control

Another way we miss the mark in life is by always wishing to be in control. As a result, we perpetually fear being out of control.

But don’t all great spiritual teachings tell us that death is an illusion and that we’re masters of our own universe?

That we—and we alone—control our destiny?

Many of us strive mightily for this goal.

But we’ll never get there if, under the water, we’re furiously backpedaling out of fear we’re going to lose control.

We need to learn to flexibly adjust, and to loosen our grip on life. We must learn to dance between steering our own ship and letting go of the wheel.

This is a fine balance.

The more we fear letting go, the greater will be our inner imbalance. With our soul movements out of sync, we’ll lose any hope of controlling our final destiny.

So then what do we do? We grab for pseudo-control.

But this of course adds more tension and anxiety, destroying any chance we had at peace by lowering our self-confidence. And it takes away our confidence in life in general, in the process.

The only way out—the way for real confidence to grow—is to give ourselves over to the unknown. We have to give up our tight holding on.

If we will do this—if we will let go—we will discover something wonderful: full mastery of life without any fear of losing control.

In short, we’ll finally understand that there was never anything to fear.

To be fair, the typical person isn’t yet capable of having total, immediate control of themselves or their lives. We still have to accept, at least for a time, that we have limitations.

These limitations within ourselves will create an undesirable destiny for us. Denying this reality—that we have limitations due to our own unhealed imperfections—is a sure sign that we still have fear.

And our denial, coming from our outer will, makes matters worse.

To accept, on the other hand, our temporary limitations and their associated consequences, doesn’t mean we resign ourselves to a life of tragedy and suffering.

No, acceptance simply means we realize we’re going through a period that’s uncomfortable. And we are willing to take responsibility for this state.

For a time, growth may feel limited. And bliss won’t be happening.

But we don’t need to dread this.

This too shall pass.

An attitude like this is what will open the door further, rather than slam it shut.

Our aim is to be in control of our own destiny.

If the potential to give over and trust the greater forces of life didn’t exist somewhere inside us, we could never get there.

We can at least trust that such a potential exists in us.

This is a place to start.

For in the end, it’s our fear and distrust that cause us to hang on, refusing to relinquish control.

And this is what’s blocking us from freedom and bliss—our own fear and distrust.

The principle of fear

Another aim we have is for pleasure. This is deeply inborn in us, the same as our desire for control over our own life is embedded in our human instincts.

Our psyche knows instinctively that both are our birthright. They are our destiny and our origin—and we want them back.

But if we desire pleasure because we want to run away from pain, pleasure will elude us.

Yet the absence of pleasure is not a big abyss of darkness.

So we don’t need to shrink away from it.

By understanding this, we won’t let our fear of pain steer us in the wrong direction.

This principle guides every aspect of living:

• If we fear being sick, we prevent being healthy.
• If we fear growing old, we prevent eternal youth.
• If we fear poverty, we prevent abundance.
• If we fear loneliness, we prevent true companionship.
• If we fear companionship, we prevent self-containment.

We could keep going.

In every instance, the great enemy is fear. The best way to conquer this formidable opponent is to start by admitting it’s there.

Just giving it voice will take away much of its power. Articulating our fears will also open new doors for ushering this unpleasant guest out.

It’s always important that we formulate our desires, expressing them clearly in our thoughts and our intentions. This is going to be difficult, though, if we let our fear of our fear cripple us.

So calm admission is what we need. That, and a willingness to accept—for now—that this is what’s here.

These will carry us further in eliminating our fears than trying to fight them.

Our misconceptions misguide us

What we don’t understand about fear

Recall that the three main stumbling blocks in any human soul are pride, self-will and fear. But the more unified we become, the better we’ll be able to reach the core of any inner division.

This is where everything comes together.

As with this triad of faults, for example. Once we rid ourselves of fear, it will become quite easy to get past our pride and self-will.

When we’re no longer afraid of having our dignity pulled out from under us, we won’t remain on the unstable ground of false pride. And once we are no longer afraid that life—or someone else—will try to control us, we can let go of our self-will.

Fear is the great locked door.

It’s what stops us from having access to all that could be available to us—right here, right now—the minute we uproot our fear from our heart and from our soul.

When it comes down to it, this is our ultimate aim. It is what this whole school of life—with its repeated incarnations—is all about. And it’s what this spiritual path is trying to teach us—that fear is unnecessary.

Often, we hear the message, but we get the meaning wrong.

For instance, when we’re told we must learn to accept, we think we must accept that life is one long road of deprivation and suffering.

When we hear that we must learn to let go of control, we think this means we have to release ourselves into a giant abyss of pain and hardship.

Such misconceptions only increase our fear and inflame our stubbornness. Through our tense reluctance, we become more rigid, shrinking from freedom and pleasure.

What’s the truth of the matter?

Acceptance must help us see that we are called to have whatever we most desire. And giving up control of our ego-bound self-will will, in the end, show us that we can release ourselves into a new freedom.

We can have what we truly want.

There’s no need to keep fearfully holding on.

When we are finally convinced that there is nothing to fear, acceptance won’t seem so hard. For it’s not really a risk to accept and embrace the whole universe once we realize it is safe.

At that point, it is not about going through fear in order to rise above it. Then we will be prepared to enjoy all the fulfillment and abundance, as well as pleasure and bliss, that living an eternal life of freedom entails.

When we get past our fears, then whatever our heart desires can be ours.

This truth is what our spirit has been waiting for.

And this is the truth that sets us free.

When we see it—can truly take it in—we will wonder at our blindness.

How did I not see this before?

Why did I put myself through so much unnecessary hardship?

Then we will walk out of the prison we’ve been living in. The world will now be ours.

If we’re not ready yet, then we still need to learn some things—like that there is nothing to fear.

Why we fear the experience of dying

The only way to learn this lesson about fear is by living in a world full of ignorance—by involving ourselves in this ignorance. For it is by ignoring the truth—that there is nothing to fear—that we break through the clouds.

We need to discover this truth for ourselves: that even what hurts is never quite what we fear.

For haven’t we all had the experience of anticipating some particular event. Then, after we went through it, we realized it wasn’t half as bad as we feared it would be?

This experience offers us an important point to consider. Which is that the worst part of fear—its main attraction—isn’t the undesirable thing we fear itself, but its unknown nature.

Certainly, it’s possible to fear something we’ve already experienced. But whenever we experience something while in a state of fear, all our faculties have been dulled.

The truth of the experience, then, can’t fully be perceived or digested. Our fear blurs our view of things so we can’t evaluate the situation objectively.

It’s entirely possible, then, to go through a difficult experience in a highly fearful frame of mind. As a result, we will come out the other side thinking the experience was somehow different from what actually happened.

Our perception will be that it was how we had expected it to be—not how it was. 

This is why our souls need so many repetitions before we can rid ourselves of fear.

This is especially true regarding the experience of dying.

Rest assured, the trauma of birth is infinitely harder than that of dying.

Still, we collectively believe that dying is far worse. For this is what is already imprinted in our souls each time we arrive.

When it’s time to transition out of this dimension, we will pass through the liberating event of release from our human bodies. Then this widespread belief will engage.

It will produce such fear that we’ll be too anxious to register what really takes place. So we won’t be able to die with full consciousness and appreciate the event as it happens.

Instead of meeting this unknown element and experiencing the true facts of the dying process, our minds become half-anesthetized by fear.

So our perception becomes warped.

This is why the truth can’t impress itself on our soul substance. Instead we end up with a hazy recollection.

What’s more, the fragments that do register are quickly forgotten. For our memories rely on a free state of mind that’s not cluttered and fogged by fear and misconceptions.

What little we do remember is soon blotted out by the overwhelming power of that collective belief.

Frequently, a dying person will register something like, “Oh my, is this what dying really is? How fantastic!”

For this to become the prevailing memory, this person will need to have been fully conscious at the time of their transition.

If there’s fear, though, it’s not possible to be fully conscious.

But every time we pass through this sphere, there’s an opportunity for a little more truth to implant itself in us.

Eventually, we’ll be as relaxed about going through this transition as we are about going to sleep at night. Or about starting a new and as yet unknown phase in life.

Dying is produced by our fear of dying.

When the fear vanishes, going through such things becomes superfluous. Then it will therefore no longer need to take place.

Then we’ll be done with these cycles of incarnating.

The reason we return

Earth is a dualistic sphere in which we must go through this experience of death.

Thankfully, it’s the only one.

After this, we move onto other spheres where there will be other experiences that will be equally important for the evolution of our souls.

But this is the only sphere that requires us to seemingly die.

What do we mean by a “sphere?”

We’re talking here about a sphere of consciousness. In such a sphere, entities with a similar state of consciousness flock together. This follows immutable spiritual laws.

Their overall state of development or consciousness can be collectively referred to as a sphere.

We’re all familiar with looking at a geographical area or material space—like a planet—from such a point of view. But from a spiritual point of view, time, space and movement are all expressions of one particular state of consciousness.

Our current ego minds are challenged to imagine a consciousness that has other dimensions. One that also unifies all these different dimensions into a singular, greater consciousness.

So when we talk about spiritual spheres, it’s quite possible that our minds will oversimplify them. We are apt to think in terms of geographical areas that are located “out there somewhere, in outer space.”

Yet it’s true, in some ways, that the whole physical universe—with all its many spheres—lives within the self. Just as each planet is a reality that exists both within and without, many other spiritual worlds or spheres exist, both within and without.

This is very difficult for humans to comprehend.

When we are talking about the beings who inhabit these spheres, saying they have a comparable level of overall development, we need to not take this too literally.

For on Earth, we can see there are considerable differences in the development level of people. This is also true among those in the other spheres of consciousness.

But despite their differences—with older, more developed spirits capable of perceiving and understanding more than younger spirits—they all have certain points in common. And it’s due to their similarities that they all can benefit by flocking together.

This is why we’ve all been drawn together to this sphere—planet Earth.

This world reflects who we are

To help visualize this better, consider that the conditions on Earth are a precise expression of the sum of the consciousnesses of everyone living here. This includes the individuals who aren’t incarnated right now but will be coming back again.

The beauty we see in nature has been created by women and men. It is an expression of our inner qualities that are in harmony with the universe.

By the same token, all the strife we see—including poverty and wars, sickness and dying—are an expression of our confusions and the destructive emotions we still cling to.

So all our conditions, whether great and small, favorable and unfavorable, are a direct result of the people who come here.

We can call all of this a sphere of consciousness.

If, in another sphere, the overall level of consciousness is higher than here, conditions there will be more harmonious and less difficult. In a sphere where the spirits inhabiting it can perceive a higher level of truth, it is unavoidable that the circumstances in that sphere will be less limiting.

So how soon can we go there?

Until we have learned how to overcome the errors and disharmony we’re facing here, we’ll have to keep coming back to this sphere.

Until we can perceive a higher level of truth, we can’t get there. For our outer environment and our inner state of consciousness must be a match.

It can’t be otherwise.

We’re not “sent” here. No one “commanded” us to come here.

It’s a simple process of attraction and repulsion that follows spiritual laws. These laws work the same as the laws of chemical bonds.

This means it is not correct to think that first a sphere exists, and then we are placed into it.

It works the other way around.

A sphere results from our thinking, our feeling, and our attitudes. It arises from the sum total of who we all are.

Our sphere expresses us.

If we were to start expressing different qualities—like compassion, forgiveness, generosity and the like—we would no longer be drawn to this sphere. Instead, we’d go to where the majority of beings are also expressing those qualities.

But for now, we are all here. 

Moving beyond this reality

As humans, we tend to draw a hard line between the physical and non-physical. In fact, we humans are made up of many layers. And each layer is comprised of matter that has its own unique density.

A being of higher consciousness will be made up of matter that has a finer consistency. But this doesn’t mean such a being lacks form, or is any less real than a human being.

It’s our beliefs that draw us to a sphere like Earth where matter is more physical, or dense.

Other spheres have a finer vibration.

If our entire thinking is geared toward being very superficial and materialistic—bringing us to this plane—the matter we produce for our vehicle, or body, will vibrate accordingly.

In other words, the more ignorance we hold onto, the denser will be our matter.

The more errors, misconceptions, prejudices, limitations and darkness we have, the greater will be our suffering.

When it dawns on us that our Real Self is more than just our body, our perception widens. This shift allows the matter of our whole being—our entire soul—to become much finer and therefore more sensitive to the truth.

We’ll have a greater sense of reality.

It’s very important, then, as we go along on our spiritual path, that we find where we fear something negative. Because this causes us to grasp for something positive.

Our work is to find these pockets of fear. We must see that we have a negative motivation for wanting something positive.

Then we’ll hold the key in our hand for setting ourselves free from this dualistic dimension.

Having the realization, “I am not able to step into freedom because I don’t want freedom for itself, I want it because I fear being imprisoned,” will bring us closer to liberation.

With this understanding—and with our heads held high—we’ll be able to accept all the rich abundance of life, as a free human being.

This soul movement makes all the difference in the world.

Rushing toward our fear

To recap, our fear of death leads to our return to this sphere. But if we’re afraid of dying, there must be other miscellaneous errors in our soul as well.

Because everything is interconnected.

Any time we have a fear that constricts us, we aren’t going to be able to let go. Then we won’t be able to merge with the cosmic stream of life. That stream wants to wrap us in its arms and carry us along for a gentle, glorious ride.

But in our tight holding, we struggle against this cosmic force like it’s our enemy. In truth, the only enemy here is inside us.

This enemy only exists because of our false fears, our wrong conclusions about life, and the limits we unnecessarily create for ourselves. These limitations are what cause us to turn around and attack ourselves.

This happens despite the part of us that wants to claim our birthright and become fulfilled.

This other part, however, is striving to go in the other direction—toward pain and misery.

We may falsely believe it’s impossible to avoid some great danger. Somehow, it seems less threatening to just quickly bring it about ourselves. At least then, we think, the “great danger” will no longer be unknown.

But biting down on an avoidable negative experience is going to have a very bitter taste.

Quite often, we court a negative experience out of fear and error. This will be much harder to bear than if such a negative experience surfaced organically, due to our lingering limitations.

It makes no sense for us to rush into danger voluntarily.

And it may be hard to see that we do this.

It takes deep insight into the mechanics of how our inner world operates to discover this mechanism at play. Only through such insight, though, will it be possible to stop repeating this destructive game.

“Blessings for every one of you, my friends.
“May these words lift your spirit and bring you nearer to the light of truth, to the reality of love, to the unending bliss of spiritual existence.
“Be in peace, be in God!”

–The Pathwork Guide

Read Original Pathwork Lecture #130: Finding True Abundance by Going Through Your Fear