We need to be willing to see another has faults, and not love or respect them any less for it.
The right and wrong way to be selfish
The Pathwork Guide explores the often-misunderstood idea of focusing on oneself, challenging the belief that self-attention is inherently selfish.
The real issue is not whether we think about ourselves or others, but how we do so.
When self-focus takes the form of self-pity, complaint, or avoidance, it becomes unproductive. But when approached with honesty and intention, turning inward becomes essential for growth.
True self-awareness lays the foundation for genuine compassion. Helping others and helping ourselves are deeply interconnected—not opposing paths.
Going deeper, the chapter emphasizes that authentic self-love is rooted in self-respect, not indulgence or escape.
By doing our inner work—facing our faults without harsh judgment—we develop both humility and clarity. This inner alignment allows us to see others more truthfully and respond with real tolerance, rather than criticism or denial.
Ultimately, the chapter points to a powerful truth: the more we understand and accept ourselves, the more naturally we can love and support others.
In this way, meaningful self-occupation becomes a path to greater connection, integrity, and positive impact in the world.
Jill Loree is the founder of Phoenesse and a longtime student of the Pathwork teachings. She has studied the Pathwork Guide’s material since 1997 and completed four years of training to become a certified Pathwork Helper.
When she first encountered the Pathwork teachings, she described the experience as “walking through the doorway of an AA fourth step and finding the whole library.”
Through Phoenesse, Jill writes and teaches about personal transformation using the spiritual psychology found in the Pathwork lectures.
Her books present these teachings in clear, accessible language to help readers apply them in everyday life. Her work focuses on helping people move from the struggles of duality toward the peace of inner unity.
Raised in northern Wisconsin, Jill began her professional career in technical sales and marketing before discovering that her true calling lay in spiritual teaching and writing.
She lives in New York with her husband, Scott Wisler, who now works with her in sharing these teachings around the world.
