4 Finding the light switch: My husband, the ego and imposters
Get a Better Boat
4 Finding the light switch: My husband, the ego and imposters
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About: Using guidance to help each other
Despite twenty-some years of doing Pathwork, my husband was still living large parts of his life and our relationship from his ego.
This chapter brings the inner work down to earth through a personal story about marriage, growth, and the sometimes uncomfortable truth about how much of our lives are still run by the ego.
It explores the ego not as the enemy, but as a tool—one that’s meant to observe, choose, and eventually surrender to something deeper. The tension comes when the ego refuses to let go, creating friction not just within ourselves, but in our closest relationships.
Through the author’s experience with her husband, we see how even someone deeply committed to personal growth can still get stuck in ego patterns—overthinking, controlling, blocking creative flow.
The concept of “imposters” adds another layer, pointing to the subtle ways we can be pulled off track when we’re disconnected from our inner guidance. Still, the tone isn’t alarmist—it’s reflective. The real work is slow, uneven, and often humbling.
Jill Loree is the founder of Phoenesse and a longtime student of the Pathwork teachings. She has studied the Pathwork Guide’s material since 1997 and completed four years of training to become a certified Pathwork Helper.
When she first encountered the Pathwork teachings, she described the experience as “walking through the doorway of an AA fourth step and finding the whole library.”
Through Phoenesse, Jill writes and teaches about personal transformation using the spiritual psychology found in the Pathwork lectures.
Her books present these teachings in clear, accessible language to help readers apply them in everyday life. Her work focuses on helping people move from the struggles of duality toward the peace of inner unity.
Raised in northern Wisconsin, Jill began her professional career in technical sales and marketing before discovering that her true calling lay in spiritual teaching and writing.
She lives in New York with her husband, Scott Wisler, who now works with her in sharing these teachings around the world.
