9 Self-liking: The condition for the universal state of bliss

What is this bliss we keeping hearing about? It’s actually a state we are wired to experience. This isn’t theoretical.

It’s a natural law.

Getting praise for going along with whatever the group thinks feels like a balm for our self-dislike or self-doubt.

Bliss is natural

Not being in bliss is what is not natural.

What takes us out of bliss is some kind of disturbance. Otherwise, we would remain there.

This is not a vague promise for a life in the great beyond. It is possible for us. It doesn’t require a herculean effort or a state of perfection that contradicts our present way of being.

Nothing has to be different for it to be here. This kind of happiness is possible.

Deep inside, we know this is our birthright.

And we all want it—this pleasure supreme. Whether or not we realize that we are the ones with misdirected strivings does not change the facts.

We could all recalibrate our search and find what we’ve been looking for.

Why self-dislike blocks it

Let’s look at the two main aspects of this search.

First, our ability to land in bliss is directly related to our self-esteem—our ability to like ourselves. This equation must always balance in the end. To the exact degree that self-liking exists, happiness exists.

But if self-liking is missing, the psyche cannot experience its natural state. When this happens, we are alienated from universal forces. This creates a barrier that prevents us from joining the greater forces of the cosmos.

It does not matter whether we have a good or valid reason for not liking ourselves.

The obstacles still exist.

And we can’t just deny them away. Avoidance won’t undo the negative effects of self-dislike.

So we need to take a good hard look at our inner mechanisms. They run like fine clockwork in their precision.

We can’t follow any path of self-realization without navigating these ever-so-subtle soul movements.

In this case, somehow, somewhere, we are violating our own integrity.

If we hope to become a truly free spirit, we need to improve our ability to make independent decisions that will align us with universal laws.

No more secondhand values or blind allegiances to cultural norms. No more “whatever they say.” And no more taking on others’ opinions and calling them good enough.

When we live on autopilot, we prevent self-autonomy.

This is far more widespread than we imagine.

We’re probably doing well on the bigger issues—the ones developed people typically realize and resolve. But we overlook the many smaller issues that also require clarity.

In the end, any time we take a law, opinion or belief for granted that’s not a universal law of life, we close the door on those cosmic feelings of bliss.

The courage to be honest

There is often a gap between natural laws and what people believe. Sometimes the two are so similar it is hard to tell them apart.

But there is a world of difference between blind obedience and the self-choice of a free spirit. The words might match, but the inner experience is completely different.

When we fail to form independent thoughts, we violate our own integrity. This stems from our lack of initiative to seek our own answers and be in truth.

Those who like to rebel can be some of the biggest offenders. They simply follow the opinions of the masses and treat those beliefs as unchangeable

Why does it damage our integrity, to not arrive at our own conclusions about the rules of life?

Because in doing this, we are acting out of cowardice.

We take what’s handed to us and we don’t ask questions. This is an opportunistic way to gain favor—seeking approval and admiration from others. But we’re selling ourselves out and not being honest about it.

We can’t be inwardly hostile towards the truth and free in our psyche at the same time. So if we are parroting ready-made opinions—whether we realize we are doing this or not—we are violating our own integrity.

This doesn’t mean the opinion of a majority is wrong. Or if we’re aligned with a rebellious minority group, this doesn’t make those opinions wrong.

But if, on the outside, we seem courageous in our defiance, yet we blindly follow emotionally charged motives without questioning them, then we are acting out of cowardice—and opportunism.

Not thinking through an issue is about more than being lazy.

There’s a lack of courage.

We are conforming to a group if we desperately need them and can’t afford to antagonize them. The real temptation here is to give up thinking for ourselves.

Perhaps we receive praise for going along with whatever the group thinks. This feels like a balm for our self-dislike or self-doubt.

But this only treats the symptoms, not the source. We’re still ignoring the natural laws inherent in who we are.

That is why it poisons our system.

We need to remove the real reason for the self-dislike that’s there to begin with. It stems from our cowardice in selling out the truth for the sake of having others approve of us.

Remove this, and our courage to be ourselves grows.

This then is the medicine.

There is a long list inside us of the things we take for granted. We would be surprised by what we find.

How to learn to like ourselves

We need to move forward step by step.

First, we must become clear about our questions. We do this by looking inward. We want to become fully aware of what they are.

At this point, what matters most is not action.

It is about knowing.

Perhaps we haven’t yet mustered the courage to take a difficult action. At least now we are being honest with ourselves about this.

We’re not deceiving ourselves anymore and we’re not unaware. This brings us closer to ourselves—and closer to universal truth.

In doing so, we move closer to the source of bliss.

We’re naturally going to like ourselves better if we no longer take so-called “self-understood” aspects of life for granted. To whatever degree we do this, we establish our capacity for experiencing bliss.

This is a natural response of the universe—a natural condition.

There is a long list inside us of the things we take for granted.

We would be surprised by what we find.

It takes courage to question such handed-down ideas, and humility to not need to be special. We may also need to give up, for the sake of truth, the need for others’ approval.

The second step is seeing our tendency to run from the mood of the moment. Our tendency is to avoid contact with ourselves. But any time we feel alienated from ourselves, there is a mood associated with this—anxiety, depression, hopelessness, boredom.

That is what is here now.

If we stop trying to escape from this—stop trying to be what we are not—we can move through it.

Not go over it.

Not go around it.

Go through it.

This can lead us into the pleasure that exists in every moment of life.

It doesn’t matter what our mood of the moment is. We simply need to be fully present with it.

The ability to be true to natural laws and to transcend our Now are essential for connecting with the living center of our real selves—the source of all goodness.