By itself, “being good” is just about meaningless. Good is relative and can completely change from one culture or time period to another. Absolute good can only be found in profound truth. And we can only find this truth by facing our deepest fear and wading through all our mundane little personal “truths” we find so hard to face. Then we will find the doorway to the cross-my-heart truth of God’s reality…
It’s a whole different animal to become clearly aware of our deepest fears and doubts—hanging out with them while we come to terms with them and deal with them—from our previous game of bury-the-bone…
For the most part, we are not conscious of the fact that we have this deep longing for eternal life. Usually we tamp this down and keep it in the dark…When our longing for eternal life is not felt and fulfilled, there is a separation between ourselves and Christ somewhere in our soul…. A part of ourselves will stand in the light of knowing, and the another part will still be in darkness, and therefore trapped in fear and doubt and suffering…
It is incredibly painful for our life problems to be so completely separated from what causes them. And the cause is our own inner creative agents. So we wallow in the illusion that our experiences have come to us with no rhyme or reason…This makes us believe this world is a senseless and arbitrary place…
It is convenient to believe that after we die, we’ll revert to our whole and heavenly selves. Not so fast…The aspects living in the darkness of fear and doubt will stay unconscious after they leave the body. This is what perpetuates the illusion that physical death is like dropping over the edge into extinction. But no worries, the not-yet-awake aspects will get to come back again—and again—until they eventually wake up…
Let’s see what it would mean for us to personally experience this state of awareness and be in deep union with God…In this state, we have no fear. Our whole being is permeated with a sense of being utterly safe and at home in the world…You could say we feel cozy with life. Life fits us like a glove…The vibrational frequency of this state of safety bears no resemblance to a false faith Bandaided over faulty ideas…
It’s not that God isn’t always present—it’s that we don’t always know it…But if we have a felt sense of the reality of Christ, it will colorize all we see, touch, hear and feel. A glow of joy and peace will emanate from our being into our surroundings…Whether we know it or not, we want this more than anything else…
To truly anchor in a genuine state of union with Christ is to deeply anchor here, in the life of matter…We can’t reach a state of union by separating ourselves from our current existence in our bodies…In this state of union, opposites begin to come together; we no longer need to battle them. We will know our own power to heal and create…we’ll have a deep inner knowing that it’s impossible to cease to be. There probably won’t be any clanging bells or flashing lights with this awareness…
It’s important not to push away our fears and longing when they surface; we’ll need to screw up the courage to feel the pain of our problems and turn toward facing our deepest fear. To be honest, that’s not what we usually do. We turn away and go on and on, one incarnation after another, dragging karmic ballast along with us. At some point, we’ve got to stop and face the music…
It takes wisdom to realize that that highest, most exalted state of consciousness imaginable could never come quickly or cheaply or easily. We’ll need to devote ourselves to this task of cleaning up our own inner mud puddles.
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Read Original Pathwork® Lecture: #243 The Great Existential Fear and Longing
