Whether we realize it or not, we associate a joyful life with a perfect one. We can’t enjoy life if we’re not perfect—or so we think—nor can we enjoy our neighbors or our lovers or our situation in life. So let’s pause right here because this is one of humanity’s most misguided beliefs…Essentially, we demand perfection, and that’s just not what’s happening…
It’s time to connect the dots between how our need for perfection alienates us from our true selves, which in turn messes up our chances for a joyful life. No one’s shooting unrealistically for 100% joy here, but it could be possible to have a lot more joy than we do now…Only by accepting that we are imperfect beings can we grow out of our imperfections and enjoy the experience of being who we really are, right now…
We need to stop being out of touch with reality as we know it…We need a certain level of awareness to discriminate between what we should change—in order to have more fulfillment—and to know when we’re rolling over because it’s just easier that way…
If we resent that something in our lives isn’t perfect, we need to come face-to-face with our resentment. Only if we fully face our resentment against imperfection can we begin to accept imperfection. And only by accepting imperfection can we find enjoyment in our relationships and in life…
Continually striving for perfection though—and remember, perfection doesn’t even exist here on Earth—keeps us from accepting what truly is. That’s how we spoil our lives and our relationships. It keeps us from growing and thus changing whatever needs to be changed and made better—even though it’s never going to be perfect…
And what’s the truth again? That this world is imperfect. That’s reality. What’s the reality, or truth, of the current state of our soul? We don’t accept imperfection. We need to face the reality of both of these truths—one about the world and the other about the state of our soul…
People, we don’t have to be problem-free. In truth, we cannot be. We don’t have to be perfect to live fully, have more awareness and enjoy more fulfilling experiences. Accepting our imperfections, in fact, makes us less imperfect and flexible enough to change…The trouble, as is often the case, is our dualistic either/or attitude. Either we strive for immediate perfection—ignoring what’s still not perfect—or we give up…
If we focus on growing—rather than on being perfect—we’ll live in the Now. We’ll find our own values and let go of those we’ve taken on from the outside. We’ll do what we do for our own sake and not for the sake of appearances. Finding our own values leads us back to ourselves—away from self-alienation; that’s the way to find harmony within. This will anchor us in ourselves.
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Read Original Pathwork® Lecture: #97 Perfectionism Obstructs Happiness – Manipulation of Emotions
