Spiritual self-development works from the outside in, by turning over one new leaf after another. To make such a fresh start, we must start with our ego. For this is the part of our psyche we have direct access to. But this part is caught in duality.

This means our ego cannot hold opposites.

After doing the work of transforming our Lower Self, we will have greater access to our Higher Self. This part of us rests comfortably with opposites. At this deeper level, then—which is actually a higher level—we live in a land that transcends paradox.

This is the level of unity.

We gradually become more unified by doing the work of self-knowing. We awaken to the truth of who we are. But to do this, we must unravel the untruth that is our current reality.

Untruth, then, is the basis of the illusion of duality. It's the source of every conflict—every disharmony—that divides us. Said another way, when there is no more untruth, there will be peace—for us, our families, our communities, and ultimately, the world.

This spiritual path, which follows the teachings of the Pathwork Guide, is not the only path that can lead us to peace. But finding true inner wholeness is indeed the only way to get there.

Finding peace through paradox

At the level of duality, the opposite of what's true is false. But at the level of our inner divine self, the opposite of a truth is another truth. For example, the truth is, we must each do our own healing work. No one else—not even a great being like Jesus Christ—can do our work for us.

We each must save ourselves through the proper use of our own free will.

But here is another truth: none of us can do this alone. We simply cannot reach the top of the mountain on our own. We need each other. And we also need God's help.

Mutuality, then, is the bridge from duality to unity.

When we begin a spiritual journey, we already have some connection with our Higher Self, at least in some areas of our lives. If we didn't already have this, we wouldn't be ready to come to this dimension of duality.

The reason we are here, living in this difficult dimension, is that duality is a match for our inner makeup. For in duality, dark comes with light. For each of us, our Lower Self comes with our Higher Self.

This is our current reality, but it is a temporary reality.

As we develop spiritually, we will strengthen our inner connection to our own Higher Self. This connects us with the Higher Self of others. We call this being in the Oneness.

Over time, if we truly do the work, the guidance arising from this other dimension—from true eternal reality—will grow stronger. This is the quiet inner voice of our Higher Self becoming clearer.

But in the beginning, there are just too many Lower Self obstacles for us to hear it. By the time a message reaches the surface of our psyche, it's often polluted by the distortions it must go through. This leads to mixed motives, misunderstandings, and wishful thinking.

Until we do this work of self-transformation, we are still serving, at least to some extent, our lower nature. And we don't yet see how we are doing this. We don't yet understand how our Lower Self operates.

This is why we need others. So they can help us see what we are blind to.

But note, when we sincerely embark on this spiritual path, we attract significantly more spiritual help.

These spiritual helpers will do everything they can—in keeping with our level of commitment and the laws of cause and effect—to help us grow. Then life will start to work with us, instead of against us.

This is the way we all eventually must go. We must leave the unfulfilling state of our limited ego-centered reality.

Then we can find our true greatness.

In Jill's Experience

In my own journey, I incorporated many different healing modalities in addition to Pathwork. The list includes but is not limited to: hands-on healing through Kabbalah, yoga, meditation and addiction recovery. Plus, cranial-sacral massage, chiropractors and acupuncture. Also, traditional therapy and western medicine.

In my Kabbalah studies, one of our meditations was called "The end of the road." It goes like this: "The ego is never going to get the awakened state. You might as well just let go. Stop trying to save yourself. This is the end of the road. There is nothing to do. Just let go."

Along the way, I learned to pray during business meetings, and to journal whenever I had an emotional reaction. In other words, I used to journal nearly every day.

I have seen many spiritual seekers do this. By following our interest, curiosity and needs at each stage of our development, our work remains alive. But I have also seen many people "dabble." They hop from one "spiritual" thing to another, never going very deep.

Early on, it was hard to read the tea leaves of inner guidance. Along the way, my intuition has become clearer. While this is always a challenge, it has become more trustworthy.

I have become more trustworthy.

Eventually, we become clearer. Until then, it can help to watch for what doesn't work. Where am I feeling exhausted? This is a sign I am out of balance and not connecting within.

Where do I have the conviction that I am right, yet I am not at peace? This is a sign I am not yet seeing the whole truth.

Where am I defending my position, or trying to win and be better than?

What is the opposite side of things that I cannot—will not—see?

How do I beat myself up for my mistakes? This last one is tricky. Each time I see how I have been wrong, I feel better. But not right away. Not in the moment of discovery.

No matter how we go about it, we'll need to go through the dark to reach the light. And this is not easy to do.

That's why this path takes hard work. Yet walking it is the best thing I could have ever done with my life. I am able to be a better mother, wife, daughter, sister, manager, employee and friend because of it.

Not perfect, just better.

In Scott's Experience

Most spiritual literature talks about being separated from God. Religions refer to the fall from grace, as does the Pathwork Guide. The Guide also uses expressions like "fragmented parts," referring to how all our pain creates fractures in us.

Conversely, most spiritual literature also talks about the Oneness. We are all One—Oneness is all there is. The Guide, too, says this.

For a long time, I could not grasp how I could be both fragmented and separated on one hand, and—simultaneously—be "one" on the other. You must pick one, I thought, and the separation felt a lot truer than the Oneness.

My ego mind kept trying to figure it out, but I simply could not resolve the paradox. What has helped me enormously was to surface my main inner split. To discover these two sides of myself that contradict each other, so I have to pick one.

This split in me is so big, it covers my whole life, going all the way to God. This is my life's work, to see how this lives inside of me and see how it has been reflected to me in the way my life has unfolded. 

Usually, a main split reflects two opposing wrong beliefs, half of which relates to the mother and half to the father. But knowing this made it very hard for me to find mine. My inner balance was so far off, my mother is not even in the picture.

There's a lot to it, but I'll share a little of the main theme. When my mother died, my whole life tilted. I had never felt close to my father, and suddenly he was all I had. I had to trust him. But my life, at the age of eleven, had come apart at the seams.

There is one thing I will share about my father for my split to make sense. He is truly a brilliant man. But one unfortunate way he used his genius was carefully targeting people with practical jokes. Ones you never saw coming, and that pulled the rug out from under you. I went through life constantly looking over my shoulder.

These few details illustrate some underpinnings of my main split, which is this:

My mother is nowhere to be found.

I must trust my father. If I don't trust my father, I will die.

I can't trust my father. If I trust my father, I will die.

Looking more broadly, it's not hard to see how this would also play out in my relationship with authority, like executives at work. And especially the ultimate "father-authority," God.

One of my images is this belief that sometimes God will just pull the rug out from under me. Because that's how much of my life seemed to go. What I have come to understand is that all my life experiences come from this hidden split. Not the other way around.

If I want to approach the Oneness, then, which has been my intention and focus for decades, I have to work through this deep divide inside me.

The nature of my main split is a belief that whether I trust an authority or not—either way—I will die. So, of course, I had to die into that.

I'm speaking figuratively, of course. But that's exactly how it felt standing on the inner precipice, finding the courage to leap into that abyss. Terrifying. And not just once, but many times.

As this split began to close, I noticed it became a lot quieter inside. An awful buzzing in my mind had subsided in a big way. Like if you've spent your life in a room with a loud fan running and suddenly it was turned way down.

My split is closing, but it's a long process that I'm moving through, sweeping all the corners.

What I just shared here seems to be about my father. And in some ways, that is true. But it also has nothing to do with my father. This is my inner split. It's my work to do. My father didn't create it in me. He helped me see it—to out-picture it, in the words of the Guide—in this lifetime.

When I became an aerospace engineer, I was following in my father's footsteps. My father is a brilliant teacher who was able to write about an incredibly complicated subject in a way that few can match. He is also a human with flaws, just as I am.

The more I work to heal this deep place inside of me, the more I can hold such opposite positions in my awareness.

Ultimately, my journey of healing is about learning to trust God. This is what happens when I learn to trust myself. I do this by healing my inner split so that I can become trustworthy.  

Then, when I am one, all will be one, and I will be home.