28 Learn to fight the right way, for the right thing
Get a Better Boat
28 Learn to fight the right way, for the right thing
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About: The process of improving
We must learn to lay the sword of truth on its side. Then we can spread the truth the same way we spread butter. Smoothly, evenly and without slicing anyone.
This chapter takes something most of us deal with all the time—conflict and feedback—and reframes it as part of a deeper kind of work. It starts with a simple, relatable setting—writing and editing—but quickly opens into a bigger idea: learning how to “fight” in a way that actually leads somewhere useful.
Not every fight is worth having, and even when it is, how we engage matters just as much as what we’re standing for.
At the center is the image of the “sword of truth.” Truth, on its own, isn’t enough. We can use it to cut people down, or we can learn to wield it with care—sharing it in a way that helps instead of harms.
That shift requires humility, especially the willingness to receive feedback without immediately defending ourselves.
Relationships play a key role here. They naturally bring our blind spots to the surface, giving us a chance to see what we couldn’t see alone. But that only works if we’re open—both to hearing difficult things and to questioning our own reactions.
The takeaway is practical: growth isn’t about avoiding conflict. It’s about learning how to engage in it in a way that actually leads to clarity, connection, and change.
Jill Loree is the founder of Phoenesse and a longtime student of the Pathwork teachings. She has studied the Pathwork Guide’s material since 1997 and completed four years of training to become a certified Pathwork Helper.
When she first encountered the Pathwork teachings, she described the experience as “walking through the doorway of an AA fourth step and finding the whole library.”
Through Phoenesse, Jill writes and teaches about personal transformation using the spiritual psychology found in the Pathwork lectures.
Her books present these teachings in clear, accessible language to help readers apply them in everyday life. Her work focuses on helping people move from the struggles of duality toward the peace of inner unity.
Raised in northern Wisconsin, Jill began her professional career in technical sales and marketing before discovering that her true calling lay in spiritual teaching and writing.
She lives in New York with her husband, Scott Wisler, who now works with her in sharing these teachings around the world.
