Humility
What it is
Humility is the willingness to exchange the person we pretend to be for the person we truly are. It is neither self-deprecation nor self-exaltation. It is the quiet honesty that allows us to see ourselves as we are, without hiding behind pride or collapsing into shame.
True humility is grounded in reality. It accepts both our divine nature and our temporary distortions without identifying completely with either.
Why it matters
Humility opens the door to transformation. As long as we believe we already know, have nothing to learn, or must appear more evolved than we are, we cannot discover the truth about ourselves.
Humility makes it possible to ask for help, receive guidance, admit mistakes and continue growing. Unlike humiliation, which diminishes our sense of worth, humility frees us from defending a false image. One is rooted in shame; the other is rooted in truth.
From Bones
~1~
Our idealized self-image can take on different forms. And it doesn’t always adhere to recognized standards of perfection. Often, though, it is shooting for moral high ground.
This, of course, makes it harder to question its validity: “Isn’t it right to always try to be loving and decent and understanding? To never become angry or have any faults? Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do?”
But just beneath this lies a compulsive attitude that denies what’s actually here now: imperfection and a lack of humility. These are what prevent us from accepting ourselves as we are in this moment.
This is our pride that wants to hide our shame, secretiveness, guilt and anxiety, all of which we’re so afraid of exposing. (Chapter 6)
~2~
We need to give some thought to the reason for exposing our emotions. Why is it necessary to develop the courage and humility to do so in a meaningful way? This is markedly different from expressing negative emotions just to relieve the pressure.
We need to deliberately re-experience the feelings we once couldn’t bear to feel and that still live within us—even if we are convinced this isn’t so. Because if we don’t do this, life will bring them up for us. (Chapter 1)
~3~
The quest to find our images is a deeply valuable undertaking. But we usually can’t find them on our own.
So when we’re ready to make this step—to find the solutions to the problems in our life by sorting out our images—we will need help. We can start by praying to God to guide us to the proper person who can work with us in this process of discovery.
Humility is a valuable asset for our spiritual development. And this is a humbling process. If we’re reluctant to work with someone else, we may not yet have the necessary humility to do this work. (Chapter 9)
~4~
When we set off on the road of our chosen spiritual path, we often have a sincere desire to unite with God. But before we can do that, we have to sort out how to unite with our fellow human beings. And we are all given many chances to do so.
This means we will have to learn some humility.
We’ll also need to figure out how to love without our pride and ego getting in the way. We will have to prove that we mean it when we say we want to know God—to know love. Because right here, right now, we can find God right where we’re standing.
But only if we can learn how to love. (Chapter 4)
~5~
But love can only come into being once we’ve cleared out our errors and confusions. This is what we’re doing when we remove our dependency on others’ opinions and our preconceived ideas about the way things are.
Yes, we need to fully understand these obstacles before we can remove them. But then love will come into being all by itself, the same way the Real Self comes into being, all by itself.
So we can’t just make up our minds that we’re going to be good people who love and have compassion and humility. We can, however, make up our minds to figure out what’s causing us to not be like that. (Chapter 5)
