Essay 31 | Part Two

Understanding time and the “now point”

Time is another thing that results from fragmentation. For time is really just the illusion that gets created by having a disconnected view of reality. To continue using one of the examples for this topic, time is the perception of only the partial steps, those smaller creative units. Too often we can’t see the whole structure that this particle of time is part of. And this causes us to suffer from the feeling that things are senseless.

Part of the issue is that we only see things in a linear way. For that is what the human mind is capable of, living in this limited state of consciousness. In this state, we are fragmented, so we can’t perceive any more fully than we do. We are oblivious to the larger process.

This means we can’t take in endless dimensions of width, depth or scope. So when we experience time, we are experiencing what is happening as a sequence, rather than seeing it as part of a whole. Yet each moment of time—each fragment of a second—is one of those psychic starting points that contains meaning and consciousness, along with purpose.

If we were able to string together seconds, not just in a line but also in depth and in width, we would be able to perceive that there is no time. We could see that each point in time—each “now point”—is a point of creation that is endless and always there.

Occasionally, we may get a sense of this “now point.” But to live there all the time requires we reach higher states of consciousness. And that we must work for.

But as we keep growing and maturing—transforming more and more of our conscious and unconscious negativity—we will perceive that life is made up of not only the immediately obvious fragments. We will begin to sense how each fragment is part of a larger fragment. And eventually, we will become ready and able to experience the “now point.”

Perhaps we’ve already had inklings of this kind of perception. If so, that will be enough to imprint in our minds that there’s so much more to life than what is in front of our eyes.

Being in the now

What does it look like to live in the “now point” and be completely in the now? It is to have a sense of the eternal. And that is true bliss. For then we are fearless, truly secure, and totally certain of the meaning of life. We know—not as wishful thinking but rather with absolute certainty—that life does not stop simply because a certain momentary manifestation stops.

When there is no longer any fear, there can be complete relaxation. This is an entirely fearless state in which there’s no tension and no contraction. But this doesn’t mean we’re in a totally passive state. We’re not flaccid or motionless. Rather, we’re in an ever-moving flexible state that is open and receptive.

We tend to associate flexing with tightening and defending. But in the pure state, tightening is what gives spring to the creative movement. It’s a kind of charge. By alternating between charging and letting go we have a creative whole. But both movements are relaxed, without fear or defensiveness.

In such a state, we are able to experience bliss. And we are in a deep state of knowing that all is well. Deep down, we all long for this. But then along the way, we fragmented our consciousness. And so we are now creating this false reality we call our three-dimensional world.

Way deep down inside ourselves, though, we never lose our connection with the greater reality of our eternal being. That’s the part of us that’s still capable of experiencing the “now point.” And our human consciousness continually strives to regain this eternal state, whether we realize this or not.

Our motivation to make things better

It’s our striving for this other, better state that motivates us to keep growing, keep searching and keep moving. Along the way, we must accept that we are facing temporary hardships which we ourselves have created. And we must walk through them as we would go through any tunnel, as a way to free ourselves from our inner obstructions.

No doubt, this will require a bit of motivation.

A big part of walking a spiritual path has to do with the battle we face between wanting to move ahead—following our longing for freedom and peace—and our resistance. And yet when we give up our striving for what our heart knows could be possible, we give up on our own freedom. We all have to go through such an inner war.

Until at some point, we win this struggle by committing to movement, even if that brings momentary hardship or discomfort. Of course, it’s an illusion that we can avoid hardship or discomfort. These things are going to happen, whether we decide to move in the direction of our own inner divinity or not—even though this is always our final destiny anyway.

Actually, though, it’s only by following the way of movement that we can understand what the hardships we experience are about. And this needs to happen for us to really dissolve them. So while denying any hardship may seem to temporarily eliminate it, later, when we decide to turn inward and face ourselves, it will seem turning inward is what creates the hardship. But this is also an illusion.

Our many shortcuts to bliss

Our striving to make life better motivates us. And eventually this inner motivation is what tips the scales in this battle between moving and stagnating. Between reality and illusion. And between feeling fulfillment or despair. Keep in mind, when we choose movement and reality, we find fulfillment. And in the end, this is what we’re all really searching for.

At one stage or another, we’ll get there.

But we’re still also human. And so we look for shortcuts. We think we can get the goodies—fulfill our deepest longing—and not have to pay any price for it.

What is the price we must pay? It’s the hard work of searching and finding, of learning and growing, of changing and purifying ourselves. We must travel through all the pain we have created for ourselves. We must see where darkness—and all darkness is some form of evil—lives in us.

So what are some of the shortcuts we try to take? Here are a few:

Sexual activity as a shortcut

We’ll start with sexual activity. In the sexual experience, we can experience the blissful experience of now, but rarely can we sustain it. As such, we may try to use sexuality as a way to escape our problems. When we use sex—by itself—as a way to avoid the unpleasant parts of reality, this is basically a cheap way to get some semblance of bliss. Of course, any kind of cheating can never work. As a result, this bliss will be short-lived and likely problematic.

Alternatively, when two people experience honest growth together, their sexual union will be an expression of bliss. For it will result from two people relating deeply and fusing spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. So, through mature, healthy sexual union, the true “now point” can be temporarily experienced.

Drugs as a shortcut

The most blatant way that people search for an experience of the “now point” is through drugs. For drugs have a way of removing our three-dimensional physical boundaries and revealing what lies behind the great veil. But when we have such a revelation without earning it—which can only be done by making our state of consciousness compatible with such an experience—then the price we pay will be very high. The same thing goes for using alcohol as a shortcut to bliss.

People choose such shortcuts because their soul remembers that such a blissful state exists. But at the same time, the person is resistant to doing the work to get there. So escaping into drugs and alcohol are an attempt at a compromise that doesn’t work. Worse, the inevitable fall from the state of bliss feels all the more painful. And the person’s ordinary state of consciousness is all that much more dark.

Holy Moly: The Story of Duality, Darkness and a Daring Rescue tells the story about the Fall of the Angels. As in Scripture, the Fall tends to be seen as symbolizing a one-time event. In truth, the Fall takes place outside of time. It occurs—and keeps on occurring—anytime we violate spiritual law, causing our consciousness to keep fragmenting.

Whenever we search for the “now point” in a false way, we are trying to gain the result without paying the price. We insist on wanting to be in heaven, but we don’t want to work to make ourselves ready for it. And so we end up plunging ourselves into hell.

Meditation exercises as a shortcut

A third shortcut that some people use is through meditation exercises. At first glance, this appears to be an honest search. After all, it typically involves a long practice of concentration exercises. Sometimes there will also be an ascetic lifestyle designed to prepare a person for this kind of experience. But sometimes, this is also all an illusion.

For it is possible to produce “results” through extended fasting, chanting, reciting self-hypnotic meditational phrases and doing concentration exercises. By way of such techniques, one can have a short-term experience that, once again, reveals what lies beyond the veils.

But if we’re doing these things as a substitute for true self-development and deep self-transformation—for the kind of self-searching that leads to real change in our deeply hidden distortions—the result will be similar, in essence, to the more obviously destructive shortcuts just mentioned.

Reaching the blissful “now point” can only truly happen as a result of unification. And this we must earn slowly through our personal development work for it to truly be ours. Otherwise, we’ll put a lot of effort into something—like meditation exercises that are mechanical—that we can’t maintain with a feeling of ease.

Eventually, this part splits off from our parts that remain undeveloped, which we push out of our conscious awareness. Now a big inner fracturing happens. For due to pursuing our shortcuts, instead of becoming more unified, we have become even more split. The personality of someone following such a shortcut was actually less split when it began than it will be after sampling and savoring the blissful “now points” achieved by artificial means, such as through mechanical practices and exercises.

The harm of daydreaming

Many people have a tendency to daydream. And most of us don’t think there is anything wrong with this. It seems to be a harmless pastime that doesn’t hurt anyone. And yet when we daydream, we are deeply harming ourselves.

When children daydream, it is fine. But as we mature, we will naturally stop doing this. If, however, we continue to daydream as adults, this indicates we really haven’t matured. We harbor fragments that are still stuck in childhood. For if we have really matured, we will live in reality and not in fantasy.

When we are daydreaming, we are escaping reality. If life seems very difficult, we may try to escape from it by conjuring up ideas of how we would like it to be. Unfortunately, we can’t solve our real-life problems when we are not willing to look at them and find their roots.

All thoughts have form or substance in spiritual spheres. Daydreams, too, create forms, but these thought forms stand in the way of any real fulfillment we might want to bring about. While it seems tempting to escape in such a harmless way, we must not let ourselves be tempted like this. Because doing so is a waste of our time.

Instead, all the time we invest in such a pastime could be better used to see what is blocking us from truly fulfilling ourselves and our mission in life.

As such, we can liken daydreaming to taking drugs. If we take a drug one time, it will probably not harm our body or our spirit. But once we start, there is a danger we won’t be able to stop. In truth, there are many people addicted to daydreaming, and they are using up their available energy to build worthless structures. They essentially withdraw from the reality of life and give up the future reality they could create—one that’s satisfying and rewarding—if they didn’t indulge in daydreaming.

–The Pathwork Guide’s wisdom in Jill Loree’s words

Essay 31: Part One | Part Two | Part Three

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