The work of healing: Purple
The work of healing: Purple
Purple section: Defenses • Idealized self-image • Inner critic • Negativity
Our 3 strategies for defending ourselves against pain are based on untruth. As such, they can never work.
Defenses
- Every child chooses a strategy to avoid pain: Aggression, Submission or Withdrawal. These translate into behaviors designed to get our needs met—to get love—using accordingly either a Power Mask, a Love Mask, or a Serenity Mask. These do not work and instead bring more pain. (Bones, Chapter 4: Three basic personality types: Reason, Will and Emotion, and Chapter 7: Love, Power and Serenity in divinity or in distortion)
- We use these three strategies to defend ourselves against pain and get the love we now demand. But we don’t realize they are based on untruth. As such, they can never work.
We believe that maybe if we are perfect, others will love us. This also does not work.
Idealized Self-Image
- We believe that maybe if we are perfect—if we project an ideal version of ourselves—others will love us. So we don a mask of perfection designed to compensate for our missing self-esteem and bring love. This also does not work. (Bones, Chapter 6: The origin and outcome of the Idealized Self-Image , and Pearls, Chapter 9: Why flubbing on perfection is the way to find joy)
It is hard to describe the joy and serenity that unfold when we are in alignment with truth. There is nothing here we have to believe.
Inner Critic
- We internalize the voice of our parents—often the one we hate the most. Now, instead of someone else being cruel to us, we are cruel to ourselves. When we do this, we lose our connection to the truth of who we are at our core—in our Higher Self. Instead, we are living from our own distorted Lower Self, which is the part of us that motivates all cruelty.
We resist giving or giving in, and instead stay stuck in our misery.
Negativity
- Negative Pleasure: Human beings are wired for pleasure. If pleasure is not what we experience as children, we will attach our life force to whatever destructive, painful things we do experience. We will then go through life with our wires crossed, needing to re-create destructive experiences in order to feel energized. (Bones, Chapter 16: How pleasure gets twisted into self-perpetuating cycles of pain, and The Pull, Chapter 5: Pleasure: The full pulsation of life)
- Negative Intention: Our Lower Self wraps itself around our Higher Self, with the intention of keeping us in separation. As such, we resist giving or giving in, and instead stay stuck in our misery. Our Lower Self uses our wrong conclusions about life to justify our intention to cut ourselves off from life. (Bones, Chapter 17: Overcoming our Negative Intention by identifying with our spiritual self)
- No-Current: Hidden in our unconscious are faulty beliefs that cause us to say No to fulfillment. As a result, we will feel frantic about our Yes to having what we want. For with a hidden No, our Yes will always be ineffective. (Bones, Chapter 15: Learning to speak the language of the unconscious)
©2019 Jill Loree. All rights reserved.
There is no particular order for reading and working with these topics. For on a spiritual path, we step into doing our healing work wherever, whenever and however it surfaces. What matters is to cover them all over time.
About spirituality and self-transformation: The work of healing • The prequel • The rescue
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